Scots Language

[Moose McLennan]

While wir oan the subject of booze (a subject nivvir fair fra ma mind at the best o times), a couple of yis might hae read hoo ah wis oot newly kilted last night.
I reckoned ah hud a gey smart ootfit put thigether an a. We wir roond at ma brother-in-law's an his wife's bit, and it wis coaktails we hud planned. Ah lugged a ma gear roond, shakers and bendy straws, the whole shebang.

First up wis caipirinhas. Ye huftae cut up a lime and mollicate it thegither wi broon shoogir, and ye dae this directly in the glass, wi yon thing thit looks like a cross between a porridge spirtle an a fish stonner. A wis daen this, quite the thing, gie'in it laldy, when a' o a sudden the whole lime an shoogir skooshed oot, a o'er ma claes!

Didnae feel too much the debonair kilted version o Tom Cruise in "Cocktail" anymair, ah can tell yis. Ah wis fair cursin! But ma kilt wis OK, an the coaktails went doon a treat.

Ma two wee nieces were up an a' (thir 8 an 11), drinkin juice oot a straws. They nivvir batted an eyelid when they saw the kilt. Noat a peep. And ah'll tak that as high praise indeed!

Cheers the noo
M.