My last name is McIntosh, and I wear the clan tartans. I also wear several "universal" tartans, but not those of other clans. There are lots of other clan tartans in my family tree, but I just can't imagine feeling as comfortable in them as my own.
I certainly have no problem with people wearing clan tartans that they have a connection to, or not, but for me personally, I will only wear my own. Maybe I'll change my mind over time.
As far as formal connection to the actual clan and chief goes, I have virtually none. I was a member of the North American society for a while, but not any more. Maybe I'll have to revive that!
"Touch not the cat bot a glove."
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