brutal first kilted outing

[pbpersson]

mind you I'm only 5'9'' and on a good day I weigh about 168 soaking wet, but I 'll walk up to a guy thats 6'8" look him square in the eyes and ask if he really has a problem or is he just tryin to be funny?

I am 6'2" and until recently I weighed 240 pounds. No one has dared say anything bad about my kilt yet. No one has said anything good to my face about it either. I think I look like a scarey guy and no one wants to talk to me - I have a mean look, that's what people have told me.

This weekend I walked extensively through a tourist area in a town, walked through a shopping mall and even stopped several times to look at my map because I was looking for stores that might carry an item I wanted, and I shopped in a couple of places and bought some stuff. No comments at all.

However, I wonder if the ladies at the checkout counters had no idea what I was wearing until I was walking away and my pleats were waving "good-bye" at them?

[RockyR]

When I first started getting interested in kilts this spring I originally only intended to wear one at Celtic festivals, but after finding this forum I thought "what the heck, maybe I'll try wearing one out a bit." I picked up my first kilt (Amerikilt) 2 weeks ago at a Celtic festival and got hooked wearing it around that day (obviously a friendly crowd, so to speak.) My first time wearing it in the general public was to a July 4th fireworks display which sort of didn't count because it was fairly dark and everyone was looking up anyway, but the people who noticed only stared slightly. I was totally unprepared for yesterday's reactions wearing the kilt to a large car show. Within 10 minutes of arriving I heard the comment from someone behind me, "nice skirt, Fag#@t." No idea who said it but all day there were people pointing and laughing from a distance or just stopping dead and staring like they were hit by a board. I didn't let it ruin my day and didn't change into the shorts I brought along, either. I didn't think negative comments would bother me but yesterday's experience was kind of rough. The only positive comment all day came from a friend's wife (and my wife of course.) Another positive, a few years ago, I would never have had the self confidence to wear a kilt to a car show and I will say that this won't stop me in the future.

I assume (since you're in Wrightsville) that the festival you went to 2 weeks ago was the Celtic FLing... did you stop by our tent and say hi?

Where was the Car show? If it's out this way (Phoenixville area or within a 30 minute drive), I'll go with you for the next one. It's easy to make fun of 1 guy in a kilt and feel like a "tough guy". It's a lot harder to make fun of SEVERAL guys in kilts.

People out in the "sticks" in PA can be a little "uncultured" and their neck may be a darker shade of pink. Maybe he didn't see it as a kilt b/c it was a solid? Maybe he was ignorant to any other culture outside of his own.


Bottom line... forget it. Wear what YOU want and ignore people. I seldom get looks anymore and don't notice it half the time when I do.

[Ghâshûl]

The only comment I've ever overheard (bear in mind that I've rarely worn my 'kilt' in public) was 'he needs to shave his legs'.

I just chuckled to myself and thought that men don't need to shave their legs.

[jjoseph]

After living in an arguably backward part of Texas, and only getting the occasional stray comment, I was surprised that it was tougher when I moved to the D.C. area in May. But after a few rough weeks, either my skin is thicker or I've gone a bit deaf because it seems like it's much smoother sailing now and most of the comments that I do hear make me smile.

I have to say the funniest was when I got the "Hey, f@gg0t!," cat call from a guy in the Metro, but his buddy grabbed the fellow hard by the arm and said, "Hey, no man, he Irish, he Irish." LOL. I just kept walking, but oh what a smile I was wearing. I should add that I do get a LOT of compliments too. Gents asking where I bought my kilts, ladies telling their gent HE should wear one, and of course "the question" all in good humor. The balance is by far on the happier side of the scale.

Last month a fellow kiltie and I were at a mall when a kilted teenage boy runs up to us to say hello. Evidently he took a fare amount of goodnatured flack from his friends about his kilt, but he got some real mileage and validation from his friends seeing other guys kilted and just out at the mall. That felt good. We are rebreaking ground with the kilt thing. Even when it's rough, we do make it easier for the next bloke.

Hang in there. Folks will get used to "the kilted guy"... and if it's like my experience, you'll either encourage a fence sitter or two in the area to take the kilted plunge or you'll run into a crowd of kilties one day and go, "dang, we're everywhere!"

Hang tough!

[KiltedKnight]

Not to worry, you aren't alone, I've heard that "Nice skirt ******" come from the anonymity of a crowd as well but I just turned around and asked "What coward just said that?" and of course there was no reply so I ended it with, "That's what I thought, just another coward". and in so doing I got the last word in.

As has been stated so many times you have to remember that those creeps that pull that sort of thing are doing it because they don't have the intestinal fortitude that it takes to march to the tune of a different, if somewhat distant drummer and are afraid of you because you do have the courage to break out of the mold.

Chris.

[efer]

Glad to hear your "brutal" outing won't discourage you from more public outings. Wear your kilt proudly.

I heard many "Nice skirt, ..." during my recent vacation in New England. Some were sincere while most were sarcastic. I just stood alittle taller, said "Thanks!" to most and ignored the others.
Cheers

[cessna152towser]

Ignoring the remark can be the best response as it leaves the frustrated creep who shouted it even more frustrated that his comment may have gone unheard by you.

[Chris Webb]

No doubt an insult shouted from the safety of a crowd does not deserve your rebuttal, it is not a man who has insulted you but a barking dog. As for looks, even laughs, it's natural for folks to do both when seeing you dressed so far outside of social norms for the very first time. What looks like mean stares are most often folks just taking a really good look at you. If you smile they'll universally smile back.

Pay no mind to annonymous insults, but, if such a thing happens at your normal pub or family gathering you should put a stop to it right then and there. If you don't then you will become the "easy target" every time you show up and you will have to put up with it for as long as you will put up with it. The longer you wait to confront such borish behavior the harder and more dramatic it will be to stop it later, if it can be stopped at all.

My favorite hang out is a Honky Tonk called the Rig. When I first showed up in my kilt I was imeadiately hit with the "nice skirt" comment made in a very insulting manner before I even got in the door. This comment was not made from a crowd it was made by one of two cowboys both of which had at least 4" of height on me. I stopped dead in my tracks and said, "Nice Hat!" Both of them brusseled up and said again, "Nice SKIRT." I took a step toward them and said, "NICE HAT!" Before I could finish the word 'hat' they both were disappearing into the parking lot.

Later that night one of them showed back up and appologized. He wound up telling pretty much everybody else at the bar that I had bigger balls than all of them and that my kilt just proves it. It's funny, sometimes I'll go into the Rig and some new guy will start to set up for a smartass comment ... before he can even get it out somebody else invariably stops him.

If you let one person insult you then latter let another and another it won't be long before you become the clown of the bar ... at that point even the most aggressive "barking back" will only make you look like a pityful whiner. No matter what you say it will sound like "Stop Picking on Me!" If you ask for help from the staff you'll look like you're crying for your Mamma. After that it's time for a new bar and possibly for a new town.

I've said it many times, once in this post: You will have to put up with it for as long as you put up with it. So don't put up with it and ....

Kilt On!

Chris Webb

[Gary Krueger]

I have always said that I have to be pretty firmly set in my own sexuality to wear a kilt. Heck, I'm a piper. I not only wear a kilt, but a hat with ribbons hangin down the back of my neck, "Knee Sox" (kilt hose) with little ribbons (flashes) hanging out the side. Shoes without a tounge and laces that wrap up my legs a way before they end in a bow.

My wife goes with me to the highland games and celtic celebrations and the only problem she has with me wearin' the kilt is all the cute young girls who want to have their picture taken with "a real scot" or mostly with a piper.

I am 6' 4" and weigh 280 lbs full beard and white hair.

Now I do wear the kilt out for other occasions, but as with anything, I wear it to special occasions. It would not be proper at work. Although, I am sure that once the novelty wore off... eh, the proper at work is a personal choice.

Since I play a lot of weddings and funerals, it is expected. However, being honest, wearing the kilt doesn't help me play any better.

The kilts I wear, one is a band kilt...modern wilson and the other is in honor of my wife's family...Ross weathered hunting, I reserve for special occassions, Christmas, New Years other holidays where we go out for a special dinner. I wore the last day of work when I retired and out to dinner with 12 friends to celebrate (unfortunately I had to return to the work scene)

I wore it for our 40th wedding anniversary celebration with a tux shirt and jacket.

I don't like going regimental...tried it once...again a personal choice.

As long as you hurt no one...do as you like.

[Blu (Ontario)]

I think all dedicated kilt wearers will go through some sort of uncomfortable encounter at some point. I look at it as a sort of initiation rite. Invariably, the negative comments will be stupid, thoughtless, ignorant, etc... seldom clever. I have found over time that there are only a handful of comments that that I encounter and they become quite predictable. There are some great responses to these repetative quips elsewhere on Xmarks.


The process of getting comfortable takes a bit of time and experience. In the beginning, it's a bit like trial by fire. You just wear your kilt out and about and face what comes your way... good and bad. Being prepared, with the help of the Xmarks membership, takes the pressure away from the negative expectations. When you know how to handle the idiots, you're confidence allows you to relax and enjoy the experience.

...Proper response (to "nice skirt, fa660t"), is to reply in a proud and happy voice, "Sorry not gay (or you're not my type is you are gay) , you'll have to find a date somewhere else."

This is a great response and it works... I've tried it. Turns the tables 180 degrees.

I've also responded with "Correction... Nice $600.00 skirt" which has ended the exchange abruptly.

Consider surviving the "brutal" encounter a badge of honor. You've gained the experience to kilt another day.
blu