Aprons and napkins

[KiltedKnight]

I usually eat in fear of getting food on a nice kilt. I even once mistook my apron for a napkin and was within a mm of wiping my king crab covered fingers on it. It's even worse when you have a white fur sporran in the drop zone too. Anyway here is my learned solution. Carry a heavy white paper napkin (I sometimes ask for a few spares when I eat in a restaurant that has the good ones) in you sporran. When you are eating anything that could spoil a kilt take out the napkin and cover your lap and unhook you sporran straps and re-install it face down on lap. Cover that with the hopefully cloth napkin that is at your particular establishment and your protected. O'Neille

I have to disagree here, bear with me...

I take my sporran and slide it to my left hip and then put the napkin over my lap. The sporran should never be in your lap while seated for a meal or while dancing, it should always be slid to your left hip. The reason for the left hip is that your dancing partner is always held to your right hip and shoulder and the sporran is out of the way and will never come into contact with her. Of course this is generally for ballroom dancing, (yes, some of us still dance and don't just jump around on the dance floor), where your hip, arm and hand lead your lady. As for the left hip while seated for a meal...? Why change hips?

The effects of a sporran under a napkin are obvious, if you spill something on the napkin, the spill goes to both sides of your napkin with the sporran making a mound under the napkin and soils two areas of your kilt as opposed to running right down the 'valley' made by your lap and the napkin and onto the floor with your sporran moved to your hip.

The napkins in a restaurant serve a double purpose for me. The first thing that I use a napkin for, and generally they're cloth napkins, I reach behind me with the napkin and grab the corners of the napkin and smooth my kilt down as I sit down which keeps the pleats even and distributed underneath me, much more efficient than the 'buttsweep'. This can be accomplished without anyone even noticing or at worst the folks around you will see the reason and never raise an eyebrow.

Chris.

[JackK]

The napkins in a restaurant serve a double purpose for me.
Chris.

There another thing a good cloth napkin is good for. Fold it cross way about maybe 70/90 cm wide, hold an end in each hand with some nice slack in between, lay a pat of butter in the slack part, then pull the napkin tight with a sharp snap. Butter should fly to the ceilng. Oh, how childess of me.


Jack

[Mattg]

I used to have a heavy cloth napkin that would work great...I'm going to have to dig that out to take to the restaurants!

[Kilted_John]

Don't eat while driving... Keep the hands on the wheel... :-) Anyway, I usually just get as close to the table as possible. Granted, I'm not skinny, so I'm less likely to get food dropping into my lap. Instead, it may hit my shirt. But, unless you're in an chair with arms, it should still be easy to do...

-J

[jjoseph]

The only times I'd be eating out in my "nice" kilts would be something formal dress... those kinds of places are gonna have cloth napkins, not paper. As for a white sporran, it should / could be pulled to the side.

For the crab / spaghetti / sloppy-joe scenario, I'm gonna be in either a trash kilt or a UK which could get washed.

I guess the exceptions would be pipers at a dinner who may be dressed in their finery even at a barn dance. In that case, I guess it's just a matter of picking your battles..... eating good food vs. keeping the kilt in mint condition.

This must be the kind of thing we guys take for granted, but the ladies have been dealing with for time on end (worrying about staining nice clothes while eating out). I guess we should take the hint and get some "how to keep a stain from setting" know-how under our belts, er um, sporrans. I know ice (from a beverage glass) can be salvation in a pinch, but stain fixes are prolly for another thread.

I have to second the advice about not eating while driving. Accidents are those things which just happen unavoidably. Putting folk (not to mention your kilt!) at risk for a burger... that's avoidable.

[Frank McGrath]

When eating a quarter pounder in the car, I recomment a full size garbage bag with holes cut out for your head and arms. This wil keep any crumbs and drops of condiments from dropping not only on your fine kilt, but the car seat, too. Was tat a quarter pounder with cheese, or plain?

[bubba]

I'm a believer in while driving, drive. Eating, drinking and phone use while driving in todays traffic is sheer stupidity and just begging for trouble. It's a car or truck, not a diner or phone booth.