That Mencken quote is right on the money.

"But they are not being totally hard-hearted about pipers and kilt wearers. They want to create a sanctuary on the Isle of Skye in which bagpipers may play and dress as they please."

Now, substitute any ethnic minority group for "pipers and kilt weares" to see how asinine this is.

I read the opening paragraph, and immediately thought the headline should have read, "How to get your a** kicked in Edinburgh".