my wife got a letter from Target about me

[auld argonian]

Those are some good ideas. I think that I would like to combine 1 and 5! Imagine the look on the clerk's face at layaway

Double your fun by getting the wife/girlfriend to go along with you and be hanging on you and nuzzling your neck and ear and then, when you ask to put the box of condoms on layaway, have her say something like, "...well, couldn't they open the box and sell us just ONE now and we can come back for the rest another time?"

Best

AA

[MacTavishOfJapan]

Absolutely fantastic. Some great ideas!!!

[GMan]

Nothing out of the ordinary for me.

[Southern Breeze]

That's a good one! Thanks for the laugh.

[GlassMan]

That is absolutely hilarious!

[Red Lioness]

Favorite things to do in an elevator:

1. Stare at people who get on in silence with a huge grin on your face. After about 30 seconds, announce: 'I've got new socks on!'

2. Open up your bag or breifcase a crack and ask: 'You got enough air?'

3. Meow occasionally.

4. Wait patiently in total silence. Look around for a bit in confusion, then ask the other riders: 'Is that your pager?'