Hey, Bradley, congratulations to your sister & brother-in-law, & congratulations to you on becoming a very important person in these girls' life - The Uncle (not to be confused with the Man from U.N.C.L.E.)!

If you haven't already done so, now's the time to think about the kind of Uncle you want to be. There are several kinds of Uncles in the world. I think this may help you to zero in on the Uncle formula; to help you define your forthcoming Uncle-ness... Let's have a look at the categories, shall we:

1. The (figuratively speaking) Crazy Uncle - This is the Uncle that gets shellacked and dances like a monkey at every family gathering. He is wild, obnoxious, tells terrible jokes, but, his antics are always enjoyed by everyone else. Your parents describe him as a real card, and so do you, even though you don't really know what the means...

2. The (Literally) Crazy Uncle - Maybe he was never really wired quite right to begin with. Or maybe he had an LSD induced freak-out back in the 60s. Regardless he has been in an institution for years and is only referred to in hushed tones by your parents around Christmas time.

3. The Boring Uncle - He is an accountant, attorney or holds some other uninteresting position. He is notorious for giving the responsible Christmas and birthday gifts, like savings accounts and school supplies. And he never has any candy at his house.

4. The Hippy Uncle - This is the Uncle that dropped out, tuned in and turned on when he was young, and never really turned it back off. He lives in a cabin in the woods and wears hemp clothing. His house smells funny, but he has more toys than any kid you've ever met.

5. The Rich Uncle - You wish.

6. The "Cool" Uncle - Everybody has one of these. This is the guy who sneaks you a beer with a stern warning of "Don't tell your mother!" at the summer barbecues. He also relishes in telling you embarrassing stories about how much trouble your Dad used to get into when he was a kid. He always gives the coolest gifts for Christmas. He uses modern slang and doesn't sound like a fool. His house has candy, cats, toys and cool music. He almost always lives far away so it's an extra special treat to see him. His wife loves to spoil kids rotten with cookies, chocolate and other sweets, much to the dismay of your parents. They usually don't have any children of their own, or they're all grown up.

7. The Convicted Felon Uncle - Similar to the (Literally) Crazy Uncle. This Uncle is usually never mentioned at all by the family .You may eventually meet him at an awkward moment at some future wedding or funeral if he ever gets out, but he's mostly non-existent...

8. The Embarrassing Uncle - Think Cousin Eddie from National Lampoon's Vacation. He's a drunk, but your folks feel obligated to invite him to family functions. He usually ends up making everybody really uncomfortable. His jokes always sail way over the line, and his behavior isn't enjoyed by anyone. That is, anyone except the kids. The kids love the embarrassing uncle. Mostly because he does things that are much worse than anything they've ever done.

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