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3rd October 06, 07:25 AM
#21
Welcome,
I think you'll find a lot of intrigue, and respect on the part of those who are truly interested, and open minded. Those with the "comments", well...you just have to learn yourself some snappy comebacks. Don't get angry, or defensive as that just adds fuel to the fire. Be calm and confident, and most of all proud of your heritage, and yourself for wearing the kilt.
But a few ingenious retorts will really silence the critics. And your confidence under fire, will earn respect.
Pax,
GunnHighlander
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3rd October 06, 07:43 AM
#22
Perhaps I'm over analyzing this but if we look at this sociologicaly we can develop a strategy that's fairly reliable.
Please do not take offense to anything I may say from here, it's purely my observations of human nature and how it can be used in our favor.
Starting with some fundamental human tendancies. We've all met strange characters who we would prefer not to have met. Usually those people have been identifiable by an unusual or extreme or eccentric appearnace. In our culture, wearing a kilt would fall into that classification to the typical person, so it will be expected that they will react on their previous experiences and be leary of a man in a kilt.
Some people will be very closed minded and avoid us all together.
Some will feel the need to try and intimidate us by ridicule or mocking.
Some will be ingnorantly rude.
Some will be respectfully curious.
Some will be enthusiastic.
Some will wonder where the highland games are.
Some will be willing to accept that others have there own way of doing things and not worry about it.
I've probably left out a position in this spectrum but I think I hit the major ones that would typically be encountered.
Safely we can isolate the first two and choose not to deal with them unless absolutely neccessary.
The ignorantly rude can be dealt with at kilt wearers discretion though courtousy is the best way to go when unsure of the other persons intention.
The last 4 are very easy to deal with as they have shown to be at least well enough adjusted in social skills to accept a persons freedom to dress as they choose and possibly understand the culutral signifigance of the kilt.
There are plenty of one liners to deal with the first 3 groups. These are more easy to deal with as you gain experience and see what works for you.
The last 4 while more accepting will still struggle to put the kilt into a context that they can understand. Why is this guy wearing a kilt? Is he doing something special today? Wedding? Funeral? Storming a castle?
Seeing a guy I don't know, standing around on campus doing nothing in a kilt would lead me to think this guy is SCREAMING for attention. Soooo, let them see you doing something. Doing laundry, going to a party, arguing with the registrars office about your schedule or even just being casually sociable with those you pass walking across campus.
When they see you being a typical guy, doing typical guy stuff, it will help them grasp what is happening and ease their adjustment. Some will say, "screw them, it's not my job to make them comfortable." and no it's not. bUt it benefits us all if we don't jsut pop out of the wood work and expeect people to know how to react to a guy in a kilt in todays culture.
I've rambled enough and hopefully I've made some logical point that helps. Wear the kilt, and the more you do, the more confident you will be, and soon.....no worries.
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3rd October 06, 07:45 AM
#23
Welcome from the highlands of North Atlanta. The more you wear your kilt the more comfortable you become with it.
Be sure and look at the photos of the others, the tartan, belt, sporran and other accessories will bring your outfit to perfection.
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3rd October 06, 07:59 AM
#24
It is too bad that your friends didn't accept the way you dress. But you are in university, and you should be able to meet new friends. Just wear you kilt, I bet within weeks, a fellow student and come on to give you a positive comment. University is a good place to meet free thinking individuals and I am sure there a few of them on your campus.
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3rd October 06, 08:21 AM
#25
Think about it this way.... whose opinion matters to you most?
A. the guy who says "you look weird, I don't want to hang out with you any more"...understanding that "weird" ACTUALLY is synonymous for "you don't look LIKE ME"
B. The guy that says " OK you look a kind of different but I respect you for wearing what you want and thinking what you want."
Just a hint...a tartan kilt is easier to get people to accept right off the bat because everybody that goes to college should know it's a KILT and not a *drum roll here** "skirt". But if you've got an Amerikilt, then wear it.
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3rd October 06, 08:26 AM
#26
Don’t listen to these knuckleheads! Let your friends make the decision for you. After all isn’t peer pressure the guiding light for our lives. Had you not said that you were an Ag Major, I would have thought you were going Political Science. Don’t make a move until you poll the public.
I’m sorry; I just couldn’t resist making light of the situation. The important thing is to not stress over this - relax. There is some great advice here and in other areas of the forum. As you can see from the earlier posts, self confidence is primary ingredient. I agree with JimB and others – take your kilt out on a few test runs and get comfortable with your new freedom. Sure, initially there will be a lot of static about the kilt from some but after a while it will become a non-issue. I doubt that you will lose any true friends over and an article of clothing.
I am no spring chicken myself but I get a lot of very positive compliments from guys in their late teens to early 20’s. Usually of the bent of “Dude – awesome kilt!” As for the ladies, the comments range from complementary to curious; “beautiful kilt – reminds me of home – great legs – are you dressed as a true Scot (this from a young lady with her husband in a crowded market).” Best of luck and welcome to the forum.
P.S. Why don't some of you younger members chime in?
Last edited by Vince; 3rd October 06 at 08:26 AM.
Reason: - Note to self - get spell checker.
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3rd October 06, 09:03 AM
#27
Originally Posted by TheJrSp8
Well, as the title says, this is my first post here. As you may have gathered, TheSp8 is my daddy. Now, he recently bought me an Amerikilt, and I'll have it in a few days. I've been asking some of my friends their opinions, and disappointingly, the responses have been unanimously negative. I go to Kansas State University(and I'm an Ag Major, no less), and although I love the school, it does have the downside of being strongly rooted in farming and cowboy hats, and therefore rather unused to anything remotely foreign. I've asked upwards of 15-20 of my friends, and all of them have replied in some form of, 'Dude, if I see you on campus, I'm totally walking the other way.' Has anyone else had a similar experience or any comments?
Let them walk away. Less competition for the ladies that are sure to be drawn to a man confident enough to wear the kilt openly and for no special occasion whatsoever. Once they see the result, they may be drawn back for the honey themselves.
Seriously, don't expect miracles, but once you start you should be consistent. This doesn't mean you have to wear it all the time, but if you put it away after initial negative response, they have won and you have caved. Only you can decide whether you want to be defined by your own values or those of others.
For a more comprehensive and thoughtful answer, I can't think of anything I've seen on this forum that addresses your specific issues beteter than Cavscout did above.
Good kilting - you dad will be proud!
Last edited by turpin; 3rd October 06 at 10:23 AM.
Convener, Georgia Chapter, House of Gordon (Boss H.O.G.)
Where 4 Scotsmen gather there'll usually be a fifth.
7/5 of the world's population have a difficult time with fractions.
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3rd October 06, 09:19 AM
#28
Good for you, Junior. If I had known about Utilikilts and the like in college, I'd have been wearing them too. Of course, they may not have existed back then... but the fact remains that I'd have LOVED to wear kilts in college. And with the experience I just had going back to my college for a football game in a kilt, I can guarantee you that the ladies love kilts.
Your friends will come around once they see it and the attention it gets you, I think.
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3rd October 06, 09:31 AM
#29
Welcome to the forum from Japan.
I don't think you should worry too much about your friends think but at the end of the day you should do what makes you comfortable, hopefully that's wearing a kilt.
Good luck!
In Scotland, there is no such thing as bad weather - only the wrong clothes. - Billy Connolly
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3rd October 06, 10:10 AM
#30
Originally Posted by porrick
... have even had female students asking if I could convince their boyfriends to get themselves a kilt.
Welcome, just wear it, your "friends" may have sensed you trepidation and used the opportunity to expouse their Y chromosome. Nothing says you've got a set like wearing the kilt with pride.
Porrick, I'd like to volunteer to become the defacto boyfriend of all the lovely ladies who need a kilted boyfriend. Especially any with trust funds or private jets to commute from Arizona to Norway. O'Neille
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