There is only one solution, really. Go to the wedding in trousers. But sneak into the church (or wherever they're having the ceremony) and set up your special surprise ahead of time ...

... Then, just after the bride and groom say their vows and everyone applauds, pull the string holding the bucket over the newlyweds and dump a bucketful of pig's blood on the bride!

And then -- this is absolutely vital -- play a tape of Piper Laurie crying, "THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!!! THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!!!" in an infinite loop. Oh, my, the bride will sure get some attention then!

Which is, after all, what she wanted. Everybody's happy!