Quote Originally Posted by crboltz
My partner and his best man actually have family tartans. My best man and I do not. Should we pick a single tartan for everyone to wear? Or should those who have family tartans wear their tartans, and the other two wear --- what?
Well, that depends. Who is marrying into whose family? Who will be keeping his name? If you will be taking your husband's name, you should wear his tartan; if he will be taking yours, then you should both agree upon a tartan for the both of you to adopt.

The best man (or men), not marrying into either family, should stick with the tartan representing his (or their respective) clan. These aren't bridesmaids, after all, and uniformity is discouraged.

But perhaps this wedding is not so traditional, despite it being held in a church, and you will both be keeping your names, as is the fashion these days. In that case, you may take the spirit of the best men and wear which tartan best represents you. The groom with clan affiliation already has the tartan picked out, and need not worry further. Those who do not feel strong clan affiliation should NOT wear a clan tartan, but, rather, choose a non-family tartan (for example, Irish National, Flower of Scotland, or a tartan representing a US state, organization or military branch).

If a groom and his best man will wear full-tartan kilts, then so should the others. Assuming that traditional regalia will be worn (as a traditional wedding suggests), then having one side in said regalia and the other side in a modernized interpretation will baffle your assembled guests, who may gossip among themselves, "What, they're getting married when they can't even agree on a consistent look for the wedding party?!"

Now where this REALLY gets complicated is if there will be groomsmen and/or bridesmaids. There, a level of conformity is to be expected (assuming, again, that this is at least a semi-traditional wedding). Careful consideration will have to be made so that they appear as a unified party without ostentation -- that is, supporting the union without overshadowing either groom. As you did not mention either groomsmen or bridesmaids, it is assumed that you will either dispense with them or save the adventure of getting everyone to agree on a look, making it your own endeavour private from this forum.

Whatever the outcome, congratulations, and may the experience be as memorable as the preparation is smooth.

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