Question

[Dirk Skene]

I started wearing one early June of this year. I had thought about it for years but thought I could not afford it. I did not know about the "off the rack" models. My wife was the one that encouraged it and found Semaus' site Sport Kilt. She ordered me a USA fashion tartan kilt. When it got here & I tried it on she totally changed. It was a case of "OK now put it away and you can were it to ren-fairs."

Not on your life! I was hooked.

She always referred to my kilt as my skirt & my sporran as my purse.

She pitched a fit & got real agitated anytime I wore it out saying she was embarrassed to be seen with me in public. One time we were going to the zoo and she asked what I was wearing. I told her "a kilt of course". She got out the most outlandish clothes she could muster up and even stuck a purple feather boa through her back belt loops for a tail. When it was obvious this did not phase me (and it really did not)she took it all off & dresses normally.

Now I have 3 kilts. 2 of these from Sport Kilt. I have 2 more on order from another supplier with my eye on a total of 18 from Sport Kilt, USA Kilts, Freedom & others. Within the next year I hope to get Matt Newson to make me one in the Clan Skene tartan and the Tennessee tartan after that.

Within the last 2 weeks it seems she has not as much animosity to the kilt. I think she is slowly accepting the fact that kilts are my normal casual and formal wear. Last night we went to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and did some shopping at Target. She made no negative comments.

I love my wife. I do not like ANY confrontation, but like my beard, I am not giving up my kilts for anybody. That's just me.

Each relationship is different. My technique has been to just not give it up.

[Captain]

I started wearing one early June of this year. I had thought about it for years but thought I could not afford it. I did not know about the "off the rack" models. My wife was the one that encouraged it and found Semaus' site Sport Kilt. She ordered me a USA fashion tartan kilt. When it got here & I tried it on she totally changed. It was a case of "OK now put it away and you can were it to ren-fairs."

Not on your life! I was hooked.

She always referred to my kilt as my skirt & my sporran as my purse.

She pitched a fit & got real agitated anytime I wore it out saying she was embarrassed to be seen with me in public. One time we were going to the zoo and she asked what I was wearing. I told her "a kilt of course". She got out the most outlandish clothes she could muster up and even stuck a purple feather boa through her back belt loops for a tail. When it was obvious this did not phase me (and it really did not)she took it all off & dresses normally.

Now I have 3 kilts. 2 of these from Sport Kilt. I have 2 more on order from another supplier with my eye on a total of 18 from Sport Kilt, USA Kilts, Freedom & others. Within the next year I hope to get Matt Newson to make me one in the Clan Skene tartan and the Tennessee tartan after that.

Within the last 2 weeks it seems she has not as much animosity to the kilt. I think she is slowly accepting the fact that kilts are my normal casual and formal wear. Last night we went to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant and did some shopping at Target. She made no negative comments.

I love my wife. I do not like ANY confrontation, but like my beard, I am not giving up my kilts for anybody. That's just me.

Each relationship is different. My technique has been to just not give it up.

I've been having a pretty similar problem. My wife and I have been married for 5 1/2 years (and we've got our first little one on the way), but she has known that I've wanted a kilt since before we got married, I wanted to get married in a kilt, but due to costs ended up married in a suit... so it's not like she had no idea. She just always used the lack of money as an excuse...

Then I found cheap kilts. I have a UK, and I'll be ordering a Stillwater Standard shortly, but she all of a sudden can't stand the idea of a kilt. She says I embarrass her and I obviously don't care how she feels about it... To which I replied that she cares a lot more about what complete strangers think about us/me then she cares what I think... and it just went downhill from there.

Then she pulled the, "It makes you look effeminate/People will think you're effeminate..."

Ha I say! I'm 6' and 250 lbs (not quite as much muscle as I had in college at the same weight, but still...), I enjoy various types of sport shooting and have trained in multiple martial arts... If some one wants to say that I'm a girlie-man they're more than welcome to that opinion. I know the truth, and isn't that what matters?

So anytime I wear the kilt, she assumes I'm doing it to piss her off... I guess one day she'll figure out the truth. The truth is, I do it to make sure everyone knows I really don't care what they think and because its the most comfortable darn thing in the world.

I find it interesting because we have a standing rule since we started dating that while we may express opinions, we don't exert any kind of pressure/influence over each other's chosen hair style and in my case, facial hair... It's always been a point of pride in our relationship that we give each other that freedom...I assumed it carried over to clothing (it always has from me to her... even when she wanted to wear her bib overalls...). I even told her during the last kilt argument that if she wanted to wear clothes made of flour sacks then I really wouldn't care, and if strangers gave me guff about it, I'd tell them I married the best woman in the world cuz she doesn't care about what other people say about her, she's just true to herself... Oh well...

Sorry for the ramble, I don't actually have anyone here to complain about this too... Stupid Texans don't understand the kilt either (well, not most of them)...

[Monkey@Arms]

The truth is, I do it to make sure everyone knows I really don't care what they think and because its the most comfortable darn thing in the world.

I'm with you on that one, Captain!

GreenDragon, if you do a search of the forum, you'll see a lot of us have gotten similar resistance from our spouses. I guess if you look at from their point of view it's probably not surprising. They married a guy in normal pants, and now he wants to wear some kind of unconventional garment, in public yet!

You didn't mention whether this is your first kid, but your wife being pregnant probably doesn't help the matter, between hormones, worries about parenting, etc. She may be concerned that you're going in some new, and separate direction, just when she needs you the most.

I don't have any surefire answers, as I am still dancing this dance with my spouse. My general advice is get a kilt that won't break the budget (its easy to get addicted, and this rabble is a bunch of enablers ), go slow and get her used to seeing you in it around the house, pick your battles, and hope to win her over in the course of time. Some articles from here or here might also help you.

Best regards,

Jake

[morrison]

I was boiling over in a few burdensome issues. Taking control of my own life had to include every aspect of my personal deportment. No one else had, has or will have any say above my sovereign will. On extremely limiting occasion I may acquiesce to a wardrobe modification for my convenience.
What I do or do not is normal for thousands, even tens of thousands of others, men and women similar to me.

[Alan H]

She hated it. Of course the first time she saw me in a kilt she ALSo saw me in a a jacobite shirt, and that was just too much. There was a period of conflict.

At one point I finally sat her down and got in her face about it. It's NOT women's clohting, I don't CARE if it's "different", and YOU and not going to tell ME how to run my life. That kind of set her back on her heels.


She won't wear the kilt skirt I got her. She hates Highland games. She refuses to go to kilts/beer nights which is just as good as she'd ruin them for me and everyone else. However, she now accepts my kilt wearing and sometimes even says I look good.

I wear pants, still now and then. If we're going out and it's "her" occaision I will often put on trousers. However, I'm kilted about 3/4 of the time, now and she's dealing with it. It took nearly 18 months to get to this point, though.

[Captain]

The thing I don't get with my wife is she loves highland games/celtic music festivals, etc... She even says I look good in my kilt at said events... but anything else and she hates it... I'm just plain confused...

[GallowHill]

I consider myself blessed with a wife who supports anything I do. She has had nothing but good things to say about my kilts. But then again, she was kind of a rebel in the fashion department when we were in high school. One of the many things I liked about her. We have tried to pass these values on to our boys, you know, not living your life worrying about what others think of you. I'm sure that is what is bothering your wives, not that they don't like it.
We must have been somewhat successful in teaching, because my 15 yo son wore his kilt on the first day school this year. It is a little on the 'goth' side, but still took some guts on his part.

[Roan Carter]

When it got here & I tried it on she totally changed. It was a case of "OK now put it away and you can were it to ren-fairs."


... ....

... My technique has been to just not give it up.

I'm laughing hysterically because my mother did the exact same thing with me. It's funny how things turn around. She bought me a Sport Kilt for my birthday, but was somehow unhappy about my decision to wear it regularly. :rolleyes: What did she think I would do with it?

Excellent advice at the end there as well.

[KiltedKnight]

I really can't understand what the problem is. I met my wife over 20 years ago and at that time I had been wearing kilts for years. I was still in the Army at that time. It was quite a culture shock for my wife who is of Mexican descent. The only compromise that I have ever had to make was to wear a tuxedo to the wedding since many, and I mean MANY of her relatives would be coming from Mexico and all over the States to attend our wedding. I could have worn my Army Dress Whites or Army Dress Blues but I wore a tux to keep everything neutral.

Since then I have worn a kilt to any other family get together or office party and generally get a lot of attention because of the kilt. My in-laws neighborhood is all Mexican but the majority of the folks remember me arriving in uniform at one point and kilted at another so there has never been any real problems. I have to think that it's all in the way one wears the kilt, if you are uncomfortable or not confident wearing your kilt it will show, and those that are the type to start with the insults will, just to get a rise out of you. My wife says I have an aire of confidence even wearing an open backed hospital gown...lol!

Chris. :confused: