mean mother in law(to be)

[wsk]

Wait to get married. It's a long term commitment and you have plenty of time.

You are marrying the daughter not her mother. Observe how she and her mother interact. This will take a while. What you want is a wife who is married to you and not submissive to her parents. Her primary obligation is to you and to your marriage, not to her parents. Your primary obligation is to her and to your marriage, not to your parents. This is a difficult thing for many people to realize.

Is the daughter independent or does she often seek her mother's approval? In otherwords is she tied to her mother's apron strings? If she is, you may be best advised to move on. Cutting those strings is damned difficult and you can't do it for her.

Are still at home? If you are, it's time to leave and become part of the greater world. Show yourself to be a man who has the wherewithal to support and care for her daughter and your children and I suspect that there will be no more dismissive talk about kilts. You will have shown her that you are a man and that is what she wants for her daughter.

Caveat Lector: I'm not a family therapist nor do I play one on TV or in cartoons. Five cents please.

[kiltman with a sword]

thanks all. lisa and i (thats my girlfriend) are planning on waiting to get married. she is an independant person, and as i said (or maybe bragged) in my first post, she likes the idea of kilts.she has no problems with the thought of me wearing them. she currently lives with her mother. the reason for that is, in a couple years her mother is going to be building a new house and leaving her the current one. i also still live with my mother. i am homeschooled and this is my last year of schooling. i also have obligations for one year after i graduate, so i cant move out just yet. as soon as i can i want to move down to missouri which is where lisa lives. within 2 to 3 years, i hope to be able to marry lisa. i want to attend college down there. im wondering, since i only have this crappy kilt so far, should i wait till i get a better one, or use her ignorance to get away with the one i have? also i dont have a sporran as of yet. i am considering making a good simple servicable sporran. it wont be for show, but id have some thing to hold my keys. any more advice would be appreciated.

[beloitpiper]

IMOP, I think it would received better if it was a real kilt and sporran (and, eventually, everything else). I bet it is hard to convince somebody that you're wearing a kilt when it is obviously homemade and sporran-less.

I bet that once you get a good ensemble together, it will go over easier with everybody.

[Rigged]

I think you'll be happier and feel more confident when you have your outfit the way you want it. I know how it is living on a student's budget, but there are some decent and inexpensive kilts, sporrans, etc. out there.

[Sir Robert]

Dump the girlfriend. Her family is hostile. It is not about the kilt it is about their ability to manipulate you. By the time I was in first grade I chose what clothes to wear, so should you. You are being insulted. Without the support of both families you are unlikely to have a long happy life togather. I can promise you this that the potential mother-in-law will do everything in her power to break you up. The hassle is not worth it.

Dump the girlfriend find someone else.

[Blu (Ontario)]

... It is not about the kilt, it is about the ability to manipulate you.

true statement.

... You are being insulted.

true statement.

... the potential mother-in-law will do everything in her power to break you up.

Quite possible... I have a cousin that married a woman with a manipulative mother... marriage started downhill after the first year despite a distance of a thousand miles from home.

[Caradoc]

Dump the girlfriend find someone else.

I don't know that I'd go that far - yet.

However, I will say this:

At the tender age of 17, you've got far more troubles in your life than dealing with a woman who may or may not eventually become your mother-in-law.

Deal with those more important issues (the primaries near the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs) first, and then worry about the future mother-in-law.

[Jerry]

I too would say wait few years to get married. Marriage is, or should be, a life long commitment.

[Canadian_Kilt]

Families are an extremely important part of a relationship - more than you probably can imagine right now. I have prolonged a relationship with a girl because I loved her family, and also ended one in part because I didn't, and her family caused huge problems between us. Friction with the family can be a very large problem - especially if she's close to them.

The key here is give it time. Right now her parents think you're just a stupid 17 year old kid and don't take anything you do seriously - including your relationship with their daughter. When you both get a bit older, things could get better. Spend some time with them, and try to view them as friends and relatives than just your girlfriends parents. Show them that you're a mature individual who is proud of who he is - not some kid that's wearing a kilt just to be different. That could take years, but if she's really the one, then it's worth it.

[Richland]

WAIT, For the love Of God Man! WAIT to be kilted with the parents.
And WAIT to get Married. There is a great big kilted world out there.
Enjoy it a bit as a single kilted Man....Then when you are old enough (21) then think about it.