You get what I mean?

[mudd]

I’ve been itching to post this on many other threads but, not wanting to hi-jack, I have restrained myself. So after reading a few recent threads, I couldn’t resist any more, so I’ll start my own.

I read somewhere that probably 75% of human communication is non-verbal. That is, we convey most of what we say through facial expression or tone or speed of speech or whatever. The same words said differently can mean something completely different. With that in mind you realize that it is almost impossible to convey ones true intentions through a communication medium such as this. It seems to me that some of the posters on this forum find that their message gets lost or misunderstood. Sometimes, the more one attempts to clear things up, the worse it gets.

Of course, once you get to know a member, it’s easer to get their meaning, but then there are new people here all the time, who… well you know. It’s probably the most frustrating to some when a moderator (and don’t get me wrong, I think the moderators here do a great job) will shut down a thread, and the persons involved just wanted to say “Wait a minute! You didn’t get what I was saying! Just let me explain!” Too late.

Anyway, I thought this applied to a few of the threads I’ve been reading and I just wanted to get that off my chest. Just my two bits. (Smilies work wonders; don't you think?)

Carry on.

[KiltedCodeWarrior]

Mudd, you are correct. It is a well documented fact that non-verbal communications provide the context to the words in a face to face conversation, and that is sadly lacking in email, on-line forums, and even telephone conversations to a lesser extent. Although, on the phone you still get the tone and inflection. It makes it very interesting when trying to decide if someone is making an observation about something or insulting a person!

Luckily, it seems that the majority of people on this board are cognizant of that fact, or possibly we are hyper-polite, and it is not such an issue. And having met more than a few members in person or on the phone, across muliple countries and backgrounds, I would say that someone who takes the step to wear a kilt in public is more accepting of other's choices and opinions. And that also helps with the written only communications on this board, as well as the great moderators! (KCW sucking up shamelessly!)

[thescot]

I have nothing but complements for the moderators. Good work. I can get all the wise cracking I want elsewhere.

Kind of makes me think twice about how I say things, too.

[Sorcha Griannon]

I will agree with you. I personally can be very sarcastic, or a dry sense of humour that sometimes (ok, a lot...) of the time can get misinterpreted. And you are right, trying to explain it makes things worse, which is why I use smilies when I think something can be interpreted the wrong way. But, then again, it can seem, on occasions that I overuse them I'd much rather annoy someone with 1 too many smilies then say something that will cause WWIII on a message board/community/ect.


Sorcha

[David Dalglish]

Its a fact that communication is a skill, some people can do it easily, other struggle, whither it verbal or written. On this site, I believe, that most all of us try our best to put our points across, whatever our communication level, & no one is put down because of it. I thinks that is why it is a great site, Keep posting

[Mike1]

If we could find a way to fully express our meanings in written words, moderation duties of ANY forum would be reduced by nearly 2/3's. Until then...

[MacWage]

Unfortunately, forums are an odd animal in which "privacy," "comfort," and "family" can be felt in an openly public and often faceless international environment. As a result, posters may feel like they expressed themselves well, but are either not understood or misunderstood in a different cultural context or by a very different personality. Add to that, most of the posting is donein the privacy of home and by ones self, things are said in either a way to frank or that NEVER WOULD be said face-to-face.

When I read posts, I ALWAYS try to look up at the home of the poster and the avatar, especially if it is a face pic. Thereby, I can take a person's culture into context AND put a face to the comments. Unfortunately, vocal inflection is missing in written coloqial (can't remember that spelling this early), and forum generally get posts writen as we talk, not how we write.
I image the poster with the accent of their home region and cultural tendencies of certain areas. In the south, we tend to say what we think, use light sarcasm, but have a warm heart behind a sometimes gruff and frank persona. We tend not to be the most sensitive of folks, unless there is a local or person reason to tread lightly. California and Arizona each have their own cultures, which are VERY different from over/down here. Each has their own sensitivities and so forth. Regions of Canada and the homeland of the highlands are even more so. I would be VERY CAREFUL about wearing a full mask sporran in some areas of the US, but have no qualms here. The same goes for other things. I have started and the deleated numerous posts without posting them, after reading them and thinking "what else could that mean or how could it be taken." If an alternate to my intention seems evident to me, I either think it isn't needed to be made public or needs to be reworked. I have a foot-in-mouth tendency by nature, and have been learning how to keep that in check. This forum has actually helped me self-check and watching those who don't and get in "fights."

I have been the victim of a psycopath in a previous forum and am happy to live under the moderation here, even if I don't always "get" why certain things are done or not done. They seem to have the best intention in mind.
I just wish I knew more of the members here on a non-forum basis, so I could better understand them, even and especially when I disagree or have different personal approaches to people, things, and views. I'm sure I would be by some of my "friends" and find I REALLY like some of the ones I think are "numpty" now.

Oh, the joys and sorrows of life . . .especially of forums in the "new world"

[Improv1]

Clear, effective communication takes place here on a regular basis. On the occasion that a thread or person is getting away from the spirit of the board, the Mods have gently prodded the offender, in an attempt to turn the situation around to prevent a locking it out. I commend you on your overwhelming success on this board, evidenced by the minimal number of locked threads.
Keep up the great work!

[beowulf67]

I don't understand this message, it should be locked!!!

Just kidding.

If you want to see flame wars, go to some of the weightlifting, or even worse, bodybuilding boards. You will be amazed how many parents lets their 12 yr olds have free reign on the computer. Or at least they have the maturity of 12 yr olds.

[MacWage]

I don't understand this message, it should be locked!!!

Just kidding.

If you want to see flame wars, go to some of the weightlifting, or even worse, bodybuilding boards. You will be amazed how many parents lets their 12 yr olds have free reign on the computer. Or at least they have the maturity of 12 yr olds.

I know you are, but what am I!