kilt lifters

[morrison]

A good example of level headed threading. I've been lifted and wind-tossed. Oh, well!
starts 03-10-2005, 08:02 PM (a long time ago)

It's happened to all of us who have spent time kilted in pubs. I'm curious how some of you handle it.

Your just standing there minding your own business, when someone comes and...

...it's a woman, lifting the back of your kilt.
...it's a woman, lifting the front of your kilt.
...it's a man, lifting the back of your kilt.
...it's a man, lifting the front of your kilt.

When women lift the back of my kilt, I don't personally get too bent. I do make a mental note of who did it, though, because I don't particularly want to spend any time with them or give them any positive attention.

I do get pretty PO'd when someone tries to lift the front, or if a man tries to lift the back.

I was talking to a woman tonight, keeping the mystery alive when asked "the question", and much to my dismay a good friend of mine who couldn't handle his ale thought it would be funny to simply hoist my apron up over my chest and give her a full view. I was fuming mad. I think if this had been any of my Tier 2 friends or lower, it would surely have been a brawl. I'm still trying to sort out if I ever want to go drinking with this guy again because of this.

THE TWO BEST RESPONSES
#4

I was at a street faire with my wife. We were standing on the sidewalk watching people dance in the street to a live band.

A young lady and her entourage crossed the street and the young lady knelt down in front of me and peeked under my kilt.
She didn't expose me to public view, just satisfied her own curiosity.
I guess someone must have told her, "Good girls ask. Bad girls find out for themselves."
I looked down and asked, "OK?" She gave me a thumbs up and reply with a cheeful, "OK!" Then, she and her group disappeared into the crowd.
My wife thought it was pretty funny. I wished I knew about kilts when I was 18.

================================
#46

"Your man should control you better," always gets a woman steaming mad. There is no response she can give that doesn't have a better comeback.

What if she says she doesn't have a man?....

Then you say, "Aaahhh!" like she's just explained a great mystery. "So you're desperate!"

? 1: Go with the moment. It could be fun.
? 2: Get with the moment. Don't lose your head.
? 3: In a moment someone may lose his head.
? 4: Explain to the officer that you didn't mean to cause "too" much grief or long-lasting pain!

[davecolorado72]

You could always put one of those dye-packs underneath your kilt. That seems to work with bank robbers at least....might be a little messy for you. Have to say would be hilarious to watch though :-)

[SnakeEyes]

Good Thread... *bump*

I haven't had my kilt checked (yet), though at my brother's wedding I was a bit intoxicated and me and my brother both decided to show the whole party anyways. I felt horrible the next day (especially when I realized there were video cameras present!), almost like I had disrespected the kilt, sort of made a mockery of it. It's that kind of behaviour that makes people think it's okay to lift someones kilt (though it has been mentioned earlier in this thread that its different when one is in control of their own nudity, which I agree with). I'll never do it again, I'm usually very modest and self-conscious anyways. Only my doctor and few select ladies have seen me in the buff.

My response to the question?

"Thats for me to know" if I'm cheery, "You're quite rude, aren't you?" If I'm not.

And what my response will be when my kilt is lifted?

"Please don't do that, it's very rude."

If they persist?

"Should I call the cops now or let you get a head start?"

[Erisianmonkey]

I've only had my kilt lifted once in a public place. I told the woman that if she tried it again I'd call the cops. The bouncer was a friend of hers and threatened to kick me out of the bar. The bartender, on the other hand (and part owner of the bar) was not only a friend of mine, but also saw the whole incident. The result? One bouncer told that he was on thin ice, and one very drunk woman told she could wait outside for the taxi they were calling for her. And a free scotch for me from the bartender/owner.

On the other hand, it has happened to me more than once at private parties. I've never taken very kindly to it and have broken a wrist before. (It's amazing what an unopened can of beer can do to an arm when you smack it.)

Then there are the ones that are actually in fun and jest. The other night my wife and I were over at a friend's house. He has a dog that gets really curious. I got a cold nose up under the pleats. I made a comment about being kilt-checked by a dog. Then my friend's rowdy roommates each took a turn at one other point in the night. Not to peek, not to assault, but to carry on the running gag of the "kilt check." Since they both want me to make them kilts, I don't think I'm going to hold any kind of grudge.

[IEScotsman]

Nice thread bump SnakeEyes.

I haven't had the misfortune of my first kilt check. My wife and I both expected it from drunk family at our wedding, but it never happened.

When I think about what I might do if someone kilt-checks me, I think back to a time when a friend of mine was a little inebriated and kissed my wife (then she was my girlfriend). One solid hit to the face and he never did it again. Now this guy is a a third-degree black belt and could have killed me if he wanted. But, he understood he made a mistake, I was right to hit him, and we moved on.

[KiltedKnight]

On the other hand, it has happened to me more than once at private parties. I've never taken very kindly to it and have broken a wrist before. (It's amazing what an unopened can of beer can do to an arm when you smack it.)

I hope that your wrist healed properly...

Chris

[Fearnest]

My (former) landlady and I were having "the discussion" in the parking lot one evening... she said the ladies in the apartment house had elected her to ask and see if I'd answer "the question." (I didn't.) She then decided it was fair play to stand under the outdoor stairway as I went up to my third-floor apartment.

Not quite as direct as kilt-lifting, but pretty much the same results.

[RK-REX]

Taking notes here gentlemen.... About one more week. *Cheerleader giddy with excitement*

[Dirka Skene]

Wear Spongebob Squarepants shorts! That'll show 'em.

[Warlock]

Dirk Skene and I {and our wives, standing a little way off} were at the Memphis Heritage festival enjoying some smooth raegae music, when I felt a hand go up the backside of my kilt and get a firm feel! I thought that it was my wife, as she is not unwilling to do such if noone is looking. However when I turned there was a short woman walking hurriedly away. I told Dirk and my wife. It always amazes me the reactions that I get while wearing the kilt. At the end of our Burns night last month on the 26th, I was followed into the lou by 4 young men who were laughing and sniggering as I used the urinal. I turned and asked if there was a problem, they lost their smiles and left the lou very rapidly.
Talk to the man, work it out. He is after all a hero. Give him the benfit of the doubt. He has endured things most of us just can't imagine. Same reason I don't do search and rescue any more. Too many dead kids!