What would you do if your mother asked you?

[jordanjm]

Thanks, for all of the suggestions. The main ideas I have found so far are:

1. Disassociate from the negative
2. Be firm about not taking the cut downs.
3. Invite her to various activities where people other than just my family will be wearing kilts.
4. Teach the kids to love her.
5. Her issue with me, and my son wearing kilts is just a piece of a larger problem.

[Panache]

Thanks, for all of the suggestions. The main ideas I have found so far are:

1. Disassociate from the negative
2. Be firm about not taking the cut downs.
3. Invite her to various activities where people other than just my family will be wearing kilts.
4. Teach the kids to love her.
5. Her issue with me, and my son wearing kilts is just a piece of a larger problem.

jordanjm,

You may be new to the forum but you are certainly wise.

Good luck!

Cheers

Panache

[MacSimoin]

jordanjm:

As I'm only an expecting father I can't quite relate to this situation (and lucky for me I doubt I ever will). Anyone else, as Rocky put it, is far removed from the experience. But, seeing that I'm about to become a father here's my thoughts on your last post:

1. Disassociate from the negative. Absolutely! If your mother-in-law's dislike for how you dress your child leads her to voice that displeasure in such a crass and disrespectful manner, you and your wife should keep her visits to a bare minimum.

2. Be firm about not taking the cut downs. Once is enough...any more verbal abuse than that (aimed at you or your child) is totally insensitive and inexcusable. Be firm and let her know that her words hurt your whole family, but try not to stoop to her level of boorishness: Just tell her enough is enough.

3. Invite her to various activities where people other than just my family will be wearing kilts. An excellent suggestion but it's too soon for this one and just puts a band-aid on the situation. Personally, I feel this effort should wait until you can figure out number 5 (below).

4. Teach the kids to love her. This is sage advice but remember, you must lead by example.

5. Her issue with me, and my son wearing kilts is just a piece of a larger problem. To me, this says the crux of the matter is possibly something left unsaid (here) and/or maybe it's something you're still trying to figure out yourself. Whatever it is, be firm in your choice to dress your son in a kilt, regardless of what anyone else thinks (including your mother-in-law). Someone else pointed out women wearing slacks and using that as a sort of defensive stance (how I saw it) but go beyond that: Indeed, if you are proud of your heritage (you already are) and you choose to visibly reflect that in what you and your son wear (and at such a young age, good for you!), then by all means explain that to her and let her know that she's not only showing disrespect and ignorance towards you but she's doing the same to her own progeny. If she can live with being like that, then she can live without you and your family in her life.

Best wishes and thanks for the great photo of your son.