HELP- a call to arms!

[Nanook]

went on to say, “There is, in fact, one loud-mouthed American living in Dumfries, who owns a guest house, struts around the town in his kilt and even does his shopping in it!”

But is he not right?

Pity the poor schlep at the office as probably left school at the 6th form and is confronted on a daily basis by his .......