Help with the Wife!!!!

[Rusty]

[QUOTE]
And most of all, remember that your relationship with your wife is much more important than a piece of cloth!
[/QUOTE

Aye, couldn't have put it better myself

[Chaplain Harris]

Fighting her on it will go nowhere. The best thing I did was to go to a kilt night and tell her the good times you had with wearing it. Tell about some of the comments, even the funny "I wasn't sure which restroom you were going in". All of it is in good nature. Second, I dressed in a Prince Charlie to a church event that I had to speak at (name any event you could go to) but that is a formal look and (not to brag), I looked quite stunning in the whole kilt and formal jacket. So much, some of her friends commented quite well about it. She was always stand offish with it and did call it a skirt quite often. However, now her point of view is different and would like to go with me the next time we have a kilt night.

[Dirk Skene]

As Big Mikey said, with patients she may not become supportive, but at least maybe she will become accepting, and in my case I should add "on occation".

My wife does not mind me wearing them unless I am with her. I have switched to suits & silk shirts anytime we go out together. She does not like that either. Since becoming a kilt wearer I take more pride in me appearance.

Good luck with it. This is a tough one.

[Cawdorian]

This is an education process, to put her at ease with your kilt, take her to some places where there will be other men wearing kilts. The highland games and Scottish festivals are a great start. With some exposure to kiltwearing she will see that many other guys wear kilts and this is a totally acceptable mode of dress.

Look up your local St. Andrews or Caledonia Society and attend some of their gatherings. Some Presbyterian churches have Kirkin's, these are usually very colorful and inspirational services with a lot of kilt wearers in the congregation.

My wife was slow to accept my kilt, now she looks forward to and very happily participates in every Scottish event we attend. A couple of weeks ago she asked me to order her one of those frilly ruffled blouses with all of the lace at the neck and sleeves to wear with her long skirt, long tartan sash and clan badge. She has been converted.

Proceed slowly there is hope. Look for events that both of you can attend where scottish attire is worn. She will become more comfortable with your kilt.

[cavscout]

Welcome to the neighborhood

My story is quite similar to yours. As others have said, the choice to wear a kilt does not effect just you. To her, it is a HUGE change from the guy she's known all these years. To you, you've been thinking about it for a while and progressing toward the first kilt purchase. She turns around one day and you are wearing a kilt instead of the pants that men are expected to wear. "What's going on?", "What will my friends say?", "Is the kilt more important to him than me?", ... are all questions probably bouncing around in her head. It's tough to deal with these issues because odds are she's not going to come right out and ask them. She likely say something that seems like an attack to you and so you will respond in kind by attacking back or being defensive. Take these questions on the chin for a while and try to understand, but make it clear that you would appreciate her respecting the pride you have in your heritage and refer to it as a kilt. No matter her views of it that is completely reasonable for you to expect.

Taking her to a highland games was the suggestion I was given as well. It may work. I personally found that the presence of people dressed in their "Renn Fair Garb" caused more trouble than it helped. Unfortunately, too many see the games as a chance to pull out every imaginable piece of clan regalia or Scottish clothing they have accumulated and wear it at the same time. This creates quite a eccentric and odd look to me so I'm sure that is what my wife would think I'm going for as well.

The course I'm going to suggest is more of a ease in method but you can adapt it to a jump right in method if you have the desire or the finances to jump right in. The end result is to give HER a very nice memory of you in your kilt WITH HER.

I would suggest, wear your kilt casually (coordinated but casual) until you accumulate the correct accessories (Kilt hose, sporran, belt and shoes if needed). These few items are really all you need to start exposing the public and your wife to Scottish attire. It will look nice and put together but not be flashy. Treat it like you would jeans. Wear it to run short errands or on leisurely afternoons.

Both of you will be getting used to the kilt. How to wear it, how to respond to others, what looks good with it and what NOT to wear with it.

As you are in the familiarity phase, begin acquiring a dress jacket and the other more formal accessories. I suggest this progression because it is to culminate in a "Date Night" with you kilted and her in a nice dress going to the opera, theatre, or some other formal or semi-formal event. It will be perceived much better by her in this context.

Some can jump right in and not encounter any resistance or hesitation from others. Others of us have to find ways to address the preconceived ideas of others. If you put the outfit together well, you should get compliments from others and in time she will begin to see that you really might not be completely nuts

[pdcorlis]

Put on your kilt, take her in your arms, look deeply into her eyes, bend her backward and give her the kiss of her life - then romance the H E double hockey sticks out of her. Any thought of men in "skirts" will leave her mind forever... Well at least it worked on my wife. :wink"

[Panache]

Put on your kilt, take her in your arms, look deeply into her eyes, bend her backward and give her the kiss of her life - then romance the H E double hockey sticks out of her. Any thought of men in "skirts" will leave her mind forever... Well at least it worked on my wife. :wink"

Phil,

So breaking your idea down into a simple equation, what you are saying here:

Man + Kilt = Romantic Man

Ye gods! If word gets out to the ladies there is going to be a Tartan shortage!

Cheers

Panache

[auld argonian]

Gee...sounds like home....

Anyway...the Highland Games is a good idea. There will be those who say that it is not a good idea because it's a sort of "artificial" set of circumstances...a "special event" at which men are expected to wear kilts and that it has nothing to do with everyday kilt-wearing...to this I say: feh!

I was at the Chicago St. Pat's Parade last Sunday (and got to have a couple of brews with RK Rex and Mrs. Rex...more on that later on...great guy) and the kilts in the crowd were few and far between...and this was on ST. PAT'S DAY no less! But those of us who were kilted were high-fiving each other and "Duuuuuude!"-ing each other as we passed in the crowds and I have to think that there were a lot of people who saw us and thought, "damn, I should have worn a kilt". It helps for your near and dear to see that you ain't the only man in plaid.

But, like they all said, just wear it and wear it well and look sharp and it'll get to be less of an issue. As I never tire of pointing out, in a world where people are going around with multiple piercings, their pants hanging off their boxer shorts and are wearing flip-flops in 30 degree weather, a guy dressed nicely in a kilt shouldn't be getting much flak from the general population.

Best

AA

[cessna152towser]

It may take time to condition her to the idea, but I'm sure she'll come to be proud of you, especially once you get the sporran and belt. My wife was the exact opposite as she already knew men who wore kilts through her Scottish Country Dancing and her Country Holiday fellowship and I was the phillistine who had never donned a kilt and wouldn't even get married in one. Indeed we were married about five years before she finally encouraged me to wear a kilt for the first time. Now I have 15 kilts and wear them almost every day - wearing trousers is now a rare event for me.

[cherokeesix]

Thanks for all of the support gents!! I have taken her to the Grandfather Mountain Games before and she just didn't get the point. She is of German and English descent and could really care less about who fought whom in what war of which year. It is to say that history and heritage mean nothing to her. She is a wonderful gal that does not share my interests such as flying planes or spear fishing. Those activities I do on my own even though I wish she would take part. Oh well, my son is all jazzed up knowing that his kilt is being made right now in the MacMillan Ancient Hunting Tartan. He will be attending all of the games with his dear ol' Dad. Thanks Guys.

Patrick (The Semi-Kilted)