I normally don't frequent Snottsdale bars cuz large quantities of silicon gives me a rash...
I was also going to recommend the Scottsdale Tilted Kilt at Scottsdale Road & Bell, but I guess that would defeat the purpose of exposing large numbers of "the Typical Snotsdale Bleach Blonde Hair Extensioned Bosooms Implanted Crystal Decorated Blackberry carrying bar floozies" to the authentic power of the kilt since the Tilted Kilt isn't one of the anointed establishments of the "In Crowd."
I really like this idea, though; let's definitely do this! 
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Happiness? I'd settle for being less annoyed!!!
"I used to be disgusted; now I try to be amused." - Declan MacManus
Member of the Clan Donnachaidh Society
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