A bit of a rant...

[Arlen]

My family are usually O.K. with my regular kilt wearing. My Dad wears a kilt whenever he finds a remotely formal occasion and I'm slowly leaning him into wearing kilts whenever he feels like it.
My eldest sister is very proud of being Scottish and likes my wearing kilts often. (Although her wife finds it embarrassing and has requested I don't wear them out when she's there.)
But my other elder sister, let's call her 'L', is a very bossy, obnoxious person who has recently taken issue to my kilt-wearing.

She has told me repeatedly in the last two weeks that my denim Union Kilt 'Looks like a skirt’ and that she 'Just doesn't like it.'
I've ignored her and just generally been happy and comfortable in whatever kilt I wear.

Today, however, I walked into the living room wearing my Macdonald Modern kilt when she pipes up with 'You do realise that if it isn't tartan then it isn't a kilt?'

'Not so.' I replied. 'The first recorded instance of someone wearing a solid coloured kilt is a portrait of a Campbell chief in 1635 wearing a solid red kilt.'

'Yeah.' She says. 'But I was talking to someone in work the other day and they work for something that is a register of real Scottish tartans and they said...'

'The Scottish Tartans Authority. Yes, they do keep a register of tartans, but they are by no means the Kilt police.'

'...Well, anyway, the new first Minister is going to make a big legal body and if it's not on the list it's not a real tartan.'

'No offence, but whether or not they have a list of official tartans bears no relevance to what a kilt is. "Clan" tartans didn't exist until mills started naming their tartans after clans and fashion started to lean towards it to the point where clan chiefs would start officially adopting tartans. The ghillies at Balmoral used to wear tweed kilts rather than tartan.'

'Well, anyway, that denim one just looks silly. And kilts are all skirts anyway.'

'Yes. They are. They are men's skirts. Just like Jeans are made for cowboys only and no one else should wear them and slacks are just trousers for women who want to look like men.'

'Well I don't care anyway. I just wanted to make sure you knew you looked silly.'



What is it that prompts women in my family to feel that they need to inform you of exactly how they feel you look?
I never tell 'L' that she looks like a dreadful, aging goth and should stop wearing 4" platform heels that make her look like she is trying to be in the Spice girls.
I never tell her that she has no need for such heavy foundation with such dark lipstick.
And I never tell her that everyone thinks she has no brains because she spends so long painting her nails.





There's no way to explain to her that she is being rude or that she has no tact or that she doesn't actually know everything there is to know about the history of kilts.
And I wonder how she could have this attitude when she was brought up by the same man as me who owns every single Nigel Tranter book and who made sure my entire life that I knew where I came from and I was proud of it.





At least my Dad is here supporting me and reminding me that if ‘L’ isn’t interested in something it goes in one ear and out the other and she is always right.

[cessna152towser]

I wouldn't worry about her opinion. Without wishing to come over as insulting to your sister, from the way you describe her I'd say she has her own opinions on dress sense, both on how to dress herself and on how she thinks others should dress. We are all entitled to dress as we choose, even if in the eyes of someone somewhere we might look silly. She could benefit from keeping her opinions on your dress sense to herself unless she's willing to reciprocate and let you comment on her clothing. You might offer to give her your frank opinion before actually telling her that you equally think she looks silly.
It is good that your father and your other sister are supportive but you can never please all people all of the time.
I have two denim Union kilts, one light blue and one dark blue, both of which I wear quite regularly and have never heard any adverse comment either from family or strangers about wearing them.
Yes they could be called denim skirts for men and they are a long way from the concept of a traditional kilt which would placate the tartan police, but they do meet the criteria of kilts in having pleats at the back and overlapping front aprons.

[Raptor]

Ignore her. You have the support of those who matter, the heritage to back it up, & the intelligence to know what's right for you. You could always start informing her of how she's a wanna-be English fashion victim! We are behind you 100% here

[M. A. C. Newsome]

Just to make a point, none of the people associated with the Scottish Tartans Authority that I have ever spoken to would have been foolish enough to make the claim that if it is not tartan, it's not a real kilt.

So I think her "friend from work" may have misunderstood something along the line....

Also, the proposed new National Register would have nothing to do with defining what is and is not a real kilt, or even a "real" tartan. It will be more of a reference to help people determine what is and is not an officially sanctioned tartan. However, that doesn't make non-official tartans any less real.

For instance, the Duke of Argyll does not recognize the "Campbell of Argyll" tartan as an official tartan of the clan. So it's not a true Campbell clan tartan. That's good to know, especially if you are a Campbell. However, that doesn't mean that Campbell of Argyll is not a "real" tartan, or if someone has a Campbell of Argyll kilt, it's not a "real" kilt.

It would still be a real kilt, in a real tartan -- just not a clan Campbell tartan.

I have to cringe every time The Scotsman has an article dealing with tartan, and people post their on-line comments on the web. 95% of them are completely off-base, illustrating that most Scots are just as ignorant of tartan-lore as their American counterparts!

My hope is that the establishing of a National Register, and even a Tartan Information Center as I read about recently in The Scotsman will help generate more interest in the history of Highland Dress traditions and result in a better educated public.

Aye,
Matt

[acstoon]

Tough as it is... ignore it... stubborn ignorance is tough to combat.
I have a sister-in-law who, despite the fact that many in my family are kilted, is rather condescending/patronizing regarding kilt-wearing. Small minds. There's a general assumption that relatives' input/opinions/advice is automatically so much more valuable... wrong! Much as I love my family, I am aware they are not all-knowing, and as fallible as the next person. Therefore, I do not feel I must endure, nor heed their words.

My personal (and very uninformed) opinion: Jealousy. You (and your father) wear a kilt that not only reflects your history, heritage, and self-confidence... but you also look damn good in it, too.

I've never been a fashion-monger. To those who have admonished my fashion sense, I have a standard reply:
"I dress for comfort, within reasonably acceptable social norms. I do not feel I need to follow trends established by people, who live in far away places, whom I've never met, and hold values that are questionable to me. If you wish to purchase me another wardrobe, you may do so... I MIGHT wear it."

All I can humbly suggest: Quietly smile at her ignorance, go about your business, and lead by example.

[caig]

Arlen, you are absolutely right to wear what you want, when you want. It is really obnoxious for any person other ( related or not) to tell you what to wear. My impressin is that you will ignore this person and go with your own intuition. Good on you.

I live in a "hard" working class area of North East England and I get a bit of friendly banter from people in my local pub, but NEVER get any insults or anything like that.

Keep it up.

By the way, I have a blue denim kilt from Kiltstore, which is just fabulous.

[Streetcar]

At least my Dad is here supporting me and reminding me that if ‘L’ isn’t interested in something it goes in one ear and out the other and she is always right.

And there's the heart of it right there. Doesn't matter if it's your sister, your wife, or your girlfriend. They are always right. Even when they're not.

[MacWage]

And there's the heart of it right there. Doesn't matter if it's your sister, your wife, or your girlfriend. They are always right. Even when they're not.

ESP. one's own parents.

Yet, we need to honor and respect them.

[ChromeScholar]

I have a friend who wears a kilt for special occasions. He was a tad insulting when I wore my kilt to breakfast several weeks ago. It was not an occasion for which he felt a kilt was appropriate. I didn't care. In fact I'm planning to go to his house this evening, and I'll go kilted.

[Ozman1944]

All due respect to your sister, Arlen, but my Gran' was right:
"Some peoples minds are like concrete; all mixed up-and permanently set!"