Stranger: “So why are you wearing a kilt?”
You: "Because public nudity is still against the law"

Stranger: “Wow, are you Scottish?"
You: "No, I'm just shy and need conversation starters like this"

Stranger: “Is it true what they say?”
You: "Yes, Mamma Cass really did choke on a ham sandwich"

Stranger: “Can I buy you a drink?”
You: "Just one?"