I went about my duties, which included a visit to Mister McGreagor. He looked at me warily, I gave him more space than usual.
'How's your neck?' I enquired.
'A textbook illustration of the technique. You are fast.'
I shrugged. 'When one does not have strength, speed is essential.'
'But -I only spoilt the clothes - I gather, but it isn't all that big a deal is it - you can always but more.'
'I made them, hand sewn and knitted.'
'Oh. I'm sorry I didn't realise.'
'Just remind me never to lend you clothes again. How is the - system?' I indicated the equipment. He gave a rueful smile.
'Back on form, and I found out where that virus came from. I think someone hates Australia - that is why the conjunction of o and z caused trouble. It was included on the cd included in the free items from the Globo Fashion event the students went to. I have one I cleaned up. It seems innocent enough - it is a message from Ivana Rulital, she runs Globo-Fashion. It puts some quite powerful -' he paused, I knew that he was seeking words I might understand.
'Those cookie things?'
'More than that - it skews searches - for instance, if I 'Kilts' into a search engine - rather than the normal result, the Globo-Fashion kilt page comes up - not at the top, but far higher than it should be.'
I told him what I had discovered about the drugged magazines.
'But - its not us they're after, its kilt wearing?' I concluded
'No - if I route the search as though it comes from an infected pc in the Highlands close to where Globo-Fashion handed out similar packs - the kilt search is not skewed, but I looked at a surveillance camera in the local town, close to the college. There is almost eighty percent of the students and some tutors wearing black trousers - and guess who's name is high on the list for black trousers.'
'So it isn't us.' I persisted
'Not yet a direct attack.'
'But its clothing.'
'No, it is fashion - and fashion dictates how things are cooked, and what is cooked just as much as what people wear - more so in fact.'
'The cookery courses teach many ways of cooking - that reminds me, if the Internet is working for us again, I must confirm the visit to Scotland for the course on langoustine, crab and squat lobster.'
'Also the visits to the distilleries, the three castles and salmon fishing.'
'Well - they might as well get the full flavour of things whilst they are there..'
'And you'll be chartering a jet, and they will travel to the airport in the people carriers.'
'Yes - of course.'
'You don't feel that you spoil the boys?'
I shook my head. He sighed and continued.
'The thing is, if Globo_Fashion is dictating to people, any part of daily life could be affected - they might decide to persuade people to eat prepared meals at home rather than go out to eat. They might start to manufacture the foodstuffs - they might even put something in the food..'
'That's dreadful.'
He smiled.
'You teach the girls how to do that.'
'Well - yes - but very specifically - not everybody.'
'But you could - if you wished.'
'But we would not - things such as the Homeopathy of Population Control have been in a sealed vault since the 1950's.'
'Are you serious?'
'Deadly.'
'Have you ever thought about taking over the world, personally?'
'I'm far too busy as it is. This is something that has got to be put right, we can't have Globo-Fashion interfering.'
'Shall I find out where the top people in the company are located?'
'Could you?'
He grinned. 'It could take a little time, but I am sure I can find them. Or rather - they can.' He indicated his multitude of boxes. 'By the way - my father wants to talk to you - about some soldiers.'
'Royals.' I corrected absently.'
'What - the cavalwy wegiment?'
'Not the Blues and Royals, Royal Marine Commandoes. The ones who look after the grounds after dark.'
'Oh - I thought his fixation with Queen Victoria had affected his thinking.'
'Oh of course - that was his costume last night - presumably your ancestor was the Queen's ghillie.'
'I come from a long line of batchelors - there is no link. Not on paper.'