Family Kilt Theft

[Clockwork John]

I'm very sorry to hear about your current predicament. I don't know what your relationship with your mother is like, but I know what I'd do...

My mom is a narcicistic, manipulative, controlling, emotionally abusive drunk who made my life hell until I got married and moved out, and is still making it more complicated than it needs to be... I'd change the locks, prosecute to the fullest extent of the law, get a restraining order, and tell her to off.

But with that said, my mom would never do something like yours did, and I do love her, and I sincerely hope she gets her act together...

I hope you can resolve this issue, get your kilts back, and restore your relationship with your mom and your mother in law. Good luck!

[ChromeScholar]

What you actually do is up to you, of course.

As for me, I wouldn't want someone like that in my life, even if they are my mother. I would already have sent a certified letter to her saying "You have 10 days to return my property. After that I will call the police and turn the matter over to them."

If I didn't have my property back after 10 days, I would call the police, just like my letter said.

[cessna152towser]

Something far wrong when mother will still hide her son's choice of clothes away from him in order to control what he can wear, yet JordanM, you are married and have your own children; this is the way a mother might deal with a twelve year old.
Mr. Woollery, Cacunn and one or two others have poured a lot of wisdom into their replies - so I need only be brief - you have to deal with this, whether it be by a letter or by your wife's intervention, but whatever, keep a cool head. Your mother needs to be tactfully made to realise that you are no longer a child, but in such a way as not to cause a permanent rift. Mothers won't be around for ever; I often wonder how my mother would have liked seeing me in a kilt, had she lived long enough.

[McFarkus]

I am speechless. But then, my mother was thrilled when the men in the family began to be kilted (my nephew first). I'm glad that a number of cooler heads have offered good advice, but I would have gone balllistic.

[elitekiltedcommando]

... Wow... I can't even begin to grasp that one.

[Macman]

... Wow... I can't even begin to grasp that one.

Me neither. I can offer no intelligent advice.

[gilmore]

... Making ultimatums right now is not going to change her mind and will only lead to more problems later.

Good luck to you.

The ultimatum has already been made, and the mother made it. But then I am the kind of person who, when given an ultimatum, ALWAYS calls the person on it.

There is more to this than a kilt or two. If family members are not suportive of one's endeavors, that is one thing, but coercion, or even attempted coercion, is another. This is not an act of love. It is an act of control and abuse. If one gives in now, one will spend the rest of one's life subject to one's mother's and mother-in-law's wishes, demands and whims, no matter how superficial or ill thought-out, and there are few things more superficial than clothing, IMHO.

To me this would be to a relationship-ending event. To show up uninvited and unannounced from half way across the country is worse than rude and ill-mannered. It is worse than disrespectful. That in itself shows a profound lack of boundaries of the kind that is usually associated with deep-seated emotional problems. To then steal clothing in an attempt to control and manipulate is indicative of truly serious problems.

To my mind this is not about religion, unless one is in the worst sort of cult, in which one surrenders one's autonomy to others.

If I were in this situtation, I would if possible move with my family to another part of the country and re-establish a relationship with my mother and mother-in-law in a few years ONLY after both had had enough therapeutic help to be able to be able to participate in a non-destructive relationship.

[Captain Karrot]

Here, here!

As a Police Officer, I would tell you to press charges...As a friend, I would tell you to try to reason with her to get it back and if that doesn't work, then I would press charges.

No Hesitation.

Chase

[Mr. MacDougall]

Keep in mind, gang, that Mormons believe that family is Everything, with a capital E. You not only are stuck with your family in this life, but for all eternity. I think a calm, reasoned approach here is the best choice, and since mom already brought up Church authorities, get the bishop involved.

I am aware of no aspect of LDS theology that is in any way against kilt wearing. But alienating your family? That's not so great.

[O'Neille]

I always wondered where Dr. Phil got his guests. I would personally put some distance between myself and the meddlesome relatives for a while. This has nothing to do with kilts by the way. They were just a convenient hostage.