Once again, I'll be piping in the haggis for our annual Burns Night tonight. It's the best haggis in town, home-made, and I love it dearly, but I don't inquire. With haggis I go with Bismarck's Maxim: "Those who love the law and sausages should never see either being made."

As for condiments, a wee splash of Scotch wouldn't be remiss...