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15th March 08, 06:13 PM
#11
Originally Posted by Riverkilt
Yikes Jamie....I'm feeling falsly accused again...
Ron
Ron,
I'm not trying to accuse you of anything. Those who have seen me in other places on the internet or in person see that I act the exact same manner as I do here. I don't have one face for XMTS and another for elsewhere.
(By the by, yes, I accept that I am a pretty boring and old fashioned fellow)
So I read your problem and compared it to your manner here and wanted to get out the thought that you may have been part of this problem. It is a possibly. If you never mention such and are very cautious about your behavior then there isn't much you can do.
I am a Moderator of X Marks the Scot and therefore very well used to the idea of false accusations. I have been called Anti-American Left Winger, Right-Wing Facist Dictator, Liar, Corrupt, Unfair, and a whole host of other terms that I can't repeat here in my tenure here as part of the Mod Squad.
I can tell you there really isn't a defense against slander.
If you argue back, the people accusing you just make more accusations and things just escalate.
If you ignore it then it seems that you are accepting their accusations.
All that can one can do is be true to yourself, be polite, and most of all be careful in your behavior to give people no reason to accuse you.
I often work in my son's school kilted. It is an absolute certainy that if I were to act in a careless manner that there would be severe repercussions, and deservedly so! So I am most careful in how I move, how I sit, how I get up, and how I deal with wind or potential curious people (be they children or adults).
That's the best I can do.
If people show a prejudice to believing kilt wearers are flashers, you can lay the blame squarely at those that wear kilts, get drunk, and show the entire world their shortcomings.
You have to be the example of what a kilted gent is to turn that image in people's minds.
In honesty I didn't mean offense Ron, but I see the two hardest things for adults to say are "I was wrong" and "I'm sorry". Almost by instinct we want to place blame somewhere else. When there are problems I try to look at my behavior and how I fit in with what caused a problem.
There are people out there all too ready to take offense, and sadly all too many people out there who delight in trying to cause problems and make people uncomfortable.
There aren't any easy answers good sir, there is only doing your best.
Cheers
Jamie
Last edited by Panache; 15th March 08 at 06:25 PM.
-See it there, a white plume
Over the battle - A diamond in the ash
Of the ultimate combustion-My panache
Edmond Rostand
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15th March 08, 06:27 PM
#12
I was wrong
Thanks Jamie, you just beat me to this post...then the forum is down or something.
It was me that brought the parole line to this forum in October 2004, got it on another forum. It is on the line. Seems tamer to me than the most common "lipstick" line, but point taken.
Having worked with sex offenders on parole and probation I'm well aware of the consequences of indecent exposure in my state. Maybe that adds some fear to the false accusations.
And some of it is no doubt my own issues, feeling helpless against false accusations when there is so much at stake were they true, and knowing full well that the person making them has a messed up mind to make them. The incidents that have happened to me have been without a doubt false. There is just no way geometry would allow what I've been accused of. Physically impossible.
Yet, what is there to say? Not appropriate to raise my kilt to prove I'm wearing underwear. Glad we're talking about it. Hope the discussion yields something helpful.
And yes, I do have different personalities and presentations depending on the situation and the venue. I was much different when intoxicated. I'm different in prison than I am at home, or in the office. Sorry for the confusion, but "me" wasn't intended to be the focus of the post...looking for others who understand the situation and maybe some helpful ideas.
Ron
Last edited by Riverkilt; 15th March 08 at 06:29 PM.
Reason: Cain't Spel gud
Ol' Macdonald himself, a proud son of Skye and Cape Breton Island
Lifetime Member STA. Two time winner of Utilikiltarian of the Month.
"I'll have a kilt please, a nice hand sewn tartan, 16 ounce Strome. Oh, and a sporran on the side, with a strap please."
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15th March 08, 06:31 PM
#13
Ron,
No worries, sadly still easy answers either!
Cheers
Jamie
-See it there, a white plume
Over the battle - A diamond in the ash
Of the ultimate combustion-My panache
Edmond Rostand
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15th March 08, 07:36 PM
#14
I guess the other thing that's confusing to me is when I first started wearing kilts it was a BIG change. I went out hiking in the wind to see what the wind did to the kilt. I watched a LOT of kilt movies to see how the actors handled their kilts when they sat. I watched Ham's great video. And I'd watch how women would sit down in a skirt or dress and how they sat once seated. It was easy to learn the difference between a narrow aproned multi-layered Utilikilt and a traditional kilt, with and without sprorran. And when I do have occasion to sit directly across from someone, even though their eyes are elevated from my knees, I still take extra cautions even wearing undies.
Maybe that's part of my frustration too, to take so many pains to be appropriate, then be accused of being inappropriate from someone in no position to tell.
At least I ain't the Lone Ranger here. Thanks guys.
Ron
Ol' Macdonald himself, a proud son of Skye and Cape Breton Island
Lifetime Member STA. Two time winner of Utilikiltarian of the Month.
"I'll have a kilt please, a nice hand sewn tartan, 16 ounce Strome. Oh, and a sporran on the side, with a strap please."
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15th March 08, 08:08 PM
#15
It appears to me that people are so unaccustomed to seeing a mans thighs above the knees, that just the view of that, perhaps only half the way between the knee and crotch, is enough to let them believe they have been "flashed". I'm sure that is the only thing you are guilty of, Ron.
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15th March 08, 09:00 PM
#16
I've never been falsely accused, but people have claimed to have seen my underwear. Since they do tend to know the color I think it's safe to say they did catch a glimpse.
Of course I do make it easier for them by wearing loose boxer briefs, which have legs that go more than halfway to the knee. It makes it harder to remain mysterious about what's under the kilt (though I do my best) but on the other hand, it makes it very hard to mistake anything down there for naughty bits. And should I ever be accused, it is not that rude to show the side of the leg to prove my innocence.
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15th March 08, 09:47 PM
#17
Originally Posted by SexyButler
Good boy. Mom is proud!
Ron, I can honestly say that I have never been accused of a kilt flash. Di
Thank the Gods she understands my warped sense of humor...
"Two things are infinite- the universe, and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein.
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16th March 08, 01:19 AM
#18
Ron, next time it happens ask them what color underwear you are wearing. They won't know, because they didn't see high enough to tell whether you had underwear on or not.
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16th March 08, 03:29 AM
#19
Riverkilt, if you have any situations coming up where you MIGHT be accused of flashing (and this can give rise to accusations of sexual harrassment - something that can spiral out of control in this PC world), try wearing a pair of plain black undershorts. I know it negates some of the reasons why we like wearing kilts, but the PC police are everywhere these days, unfortunately.
I know of a few people who have been accused of sexual harrassment in the past and from some media reports, it would seem they committed a crime worse than mass murder.
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16th March 08, 03:35 AM
#20
Man, sometimes I think we here in the US are a bunch of prudish, immature, school children. With all the accusations of flashing, and the whole concept of "naughty" bits. What is "naughty" about em. We all got em, just with differences between the sexes. They will show people shooting each other, drug usage, and other crap of the sort on prime time tv, but don't try to put a naked person on tv! Holy smokes, sometimes I wonder where our priorities are as a society. I could go on and on......
Mods if you think I went way off tangent, go ahead and delete this. I felt better getting it out and, am curious to see if others agree.
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