IMHO: too much negativity. We all share something fun and valuable here

[Alan H]

There's been an awful lot of arguing and fighting on this board recently. I have to admit that I've played a role, dishing up a couple of doozies about hose and shoes that I think are unconscionably expensive.

So I'd like to say this....

This place is about kilts. It's come to represent more than that, because of the greater associations: Kilts and Scotland and Scottish history....kilts and alternative lifestyles...kilts and craftsmanship (craftswomanship?? ) and so on. But at it's core, this web forum is a place to celebrate something...

...Wearing a garment which has its roots in a traditional Scottish garment, called the kilt....

So it seems to me that when we read something here that we disagree with, each one of us ought to scratch our heads and think a moment....how important is that issue that lights our fuse, REALLY? Is it really worth a hard comment?

I participate in another online forum that's very different from this one. I've been there for ten-plus years. I've learned the hard way that people will do what they're going to do, no matter what I tell them. They will do the STUPIDEST things. That reality transfers here. No matter how many times I rant on about expensive socks, if someone on this forum wants to wear expensive socks, they're going to wear them. I'm not going to change anybody by what I say on this forum. I can share what works for me, and praise what I think looks good, but making hard comments and ranting doesn't work.

So I'm going to not rant for a while, in fact for a good while. In fact, I'm going to look for things to praise in those with whom I often disagree, and write good stuff about what they choose to wear, or in some manner in which they helped me learn something. And I'm going to start right here, and right now.

I sometimes disagree with Chef over the rightness or wrongness of those expensive socks! But Chef took the time to point out what "ghillie flaps" were, to me, and that I might consider the possibility of dressing up a pair of military brogues with a set of those. I had no idea what ghillie flaps were. Thanks Chef. And you know what? Chef looks pretty darned sharp in that new IoS kilt he's got.

I'm gonna choose to opt to say positive things, whenever I possibly can, for a while. I'm going to choose to celebrate the good things I experience while trotting around in my life with a kilt on, and there ya go.

[Galician]

Great attitude, Alan! May this forum be a vehicle only for bringing people together in the enjoyment of and appreciation for a garment, which is remarkable and lauded in today's society...even if seldom worn.

[Alan H]

And while I'm on the topic of good things.

The Nor Cal Rabble rocks. To a man (and woman) they rock. I never expected to make REAL friends from this website, but dang if that hasn't happened. Besides, I get to dance with a hot redhead now and then at beer night. THIS is what happens from hanging out with people who wear kilts? sheesh. Who'd a thunk it?

Also, string is cool in her understated way, galoshes and all. So is Yeti, though he's less understated.

I re-discovered, from this website, that I can sew. Who'd a thunk THAT, either?

[Panache]

Alan,

What a great sentiment. As with any large group (and we are well over 1000 active members here) there are going to be a lot of things that we don’t agree on. But we all do have this common love of kilts and it has brought us all together. From this have sprung friendships, knowledge, and inspiration to go forth and sew, throw, dance, play, and create.

Not too bad for a site all about men’s skirts!

I do have one question for you Alan, how is focusing only on saying positive things going to work when we talk about Grant?

Your Friend

Jamie

[DTrain]

Alan, the disagreements on this board are MILD compared to those elsewhere on the net. Nobody really flies off the handle, people just express their opinion on one subject or another and most members here do a great job of explaining their beliefs.
Hey, it looks to me like we're all one big happy clan with only the occasional minor difference of opinion. It's just like any family--we can agree to disagree sometimes.

[davedove]

I do have one question for Alan. How is focusing only on saying positive things going to work when we talk about Grant?

Every policy has its exceptions Jamie.

[Panache]

Every policy has its exceptions Jamie.

Dave are you saying that Grant is exceptional?

Cheers

Jamie

[davedove]

Dave are you saying that Grant is exceptional?

Cheers

Jamie

In his own "special" way.

[Cynthia]

I also have to admit that compared to a lot of other online communities, this place is very civil. Even when arguments occur and feelings get hurt. It stinks, but that's going to happen at some point. You can't really go about life without offending someone, even unintentionally.

I don't really post too much. I read as much as I can although I sometimes have to skim threads and mark them as read so I don't get overwhelmed. Even if someone comes across as a bit too forceful of their opinion (any opinion), I still try to listen to what they have to say. I take what I can from it. I agree or disagree (I don't have to agree 100% on every detail either), and try to move on. I also try to remember that I can't change some people's opinions any more than they could truly change mine on some matters, and just continue to be involved in a community the best way I can.

As I said, I'm sure I will at some point offend someone. I truly apologize if it happens -- I don't intend for it to happen, and I'm sure I will be offended at some point as well. If I'm offended enough, I might mention it, otherwise I tend to be the sort who just shrugs my shoulders and moves along. I honestly haven't seen anything here that was truly offensive, and the things that started skirting it the mods jump on before I even have a chance to consider letting it get to me. I'm not saying people should overlook someone who needs to be corrected about inappropriate behavior, I just have found that for me personally, I try to keep myself from reacting too soon.

Variety of opinions and different viewpoints, as well as knowledge are what makes this community so strong. That, and the fact that it's obvious so many of you have gotten along so well and formed friendships.

Discussion is a wonderful thing. Just take a moment before posting, but remember that no matter how careful you are to word things it might be taken the wrong way. I don't always want someone telling me "good job", but I also don't want to be torn apart without any consideration for my feelings. Pointing out my strengths is great to help encourage me to fix my weaknesses.

I'm obviously babbling... I'm procrastinating to keep from having to get some chores done, but I just wanted to post my thoughts on this as well.

[pipesndrumsnun]

Rock on, Alan!! Great thoughts!!
I also have found X-Markers to be really wonderful and just plain "neat" people!!