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Kilts Banned By Radical Parliament Decision
1 April, 2008
In a shocking decision out of Westminster, the wearing of the Scottish national dress has been banned from being worn within England by a vote of 326 'Aye' to 320 'No'. Conservative Party leader David Cameron stated, "The prevalence of the kilt south of its true home is disgraceful and must be addressed. It is high time that England reclaim its cultural identity and return that which it has borrowed from the north for too long".
The scene in the chambers was intense, as members from the SNP raged on against the "Ludicrous and racist attack on our civic, cultural, and human rights". Alexander Salmond was there to voice his dismay at the "shocking display of ignorance" and then proceeded to question the motives behind the move.
'The Kilt in England'
Critics of the kilt argue that it is obscene and lewd. Labour MP Ronald Campbell for for Blyth Valley in Northmberland said that despite his Scottish heritage, he finds the kilt offensive. "I was born born in England, and I represent English interests, and the kilt is not one of them. Being from the north, I see first hand the damage these tartan terrors impose when they cross the border into Northumberland."
MP Robin Tilbrook, leader of the English Democrats Party, claims he voted for the Act for political reasons. "It is not the kilt I have a problem with. I voted for this Act to bring us one step closer to our the great nation of England separating from Scotland. By sending a message to our neighbours to the north, we will more rapidly dissolve this Union that has been hurting English interest for far too long.
The SNP vows to take steps to repeal the Act and expects to discuss the matter at Holyrood.
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