Best quips/retorts to Kilt questions...

[Captain Karrot]

My absolute favorite quip came from the bassist. He asked me what my sporran was, but before I could answer with my own smart *** comment, he called it my Scottish magnum condom holder. Only holds one. It was so much better than anything I was gonna say.

As a smart *** myself, I gotta say that I LOVE this response, especially since you didn't have to say it yourself! Actually, it is a good response to keep in the inventory!

[ardchoille]

bystander: Nice skirt!
me: (pointing at bystander's clothes) Nice pajamas!
bystander: I'm not wearing pajamas
me: I'm not wearing a skirt
me: (smile and walk away)

This was from someone on these boards, but I forget who.

[kevinkinney]

Hello all,

I have to wonder if saying "..my skinny naked butt.." would diffuse pointed curiosity without alluding to our collective, scandalous masculine parts.

Kevin.

[Nighthawk]

Hello all,

I have to wonder if saying "..my skinny naked butt.." would diffuse pointed curiosity without alluding to our collective, scandalous masculine parts.

Kevin.

That wouldn't work for me- or Riverkilt- for exactly the same reason. So I like "My chubby bum" myself.

[Brewboy]

I have to wonder if saying "..my skinny naked butt.." would diffuse pointed curiosity without alluding to our collective, scandalous masculine parts.

That wouldn't work for me- or Riverkilt- for exactly the same reason. So I like "My chubby bum" myself.

I personally like "More than you can imagine."

[Ancienne Alliance]

I personally like "More than you can imagine."

If she's with me, my sweet Lady often replies: "Enough to keep his wife content ! "

[Iain Robb]

The first time one particular male friend saw me in a kilt, he asked me -- very loudly in front of a lot of other friends -- "What's under the kilt?"

Just as loudly back, I told him, "Real men either know, or don't want to know."

Didn't get that question again that day.

[EBlackall]

Had one very lovely young lady at a wings bar asks one day and I replied, without skipping a beat, "You got the guts to come over here and check?" She blushed and ducked in the back and avoided me for the rest of the time I was there. All the guys with me had a good laugh. They never thought I'd respond that way, but I instinctively knew the what her response would be. She wasn't drunk enough!

[Galb]

Last night I wore my Black Watch over to my friend's house for her birthday. Her husband answered the door and when he saw the kilt he got this giant grin across his face. I knew, and was warned by my wife, that he would be ribbing me all night about it. I welcomed it, after all, it is all in good fun.

Well, the topic came up later that night about "what is under the kilt." Immediately a question came from the birthday girl "wait, are you not wearing underwear?!" Before I could answer, my wife simply blurted out "Don't ask, don't tell" with a sly grin. Later when it was brought up again I simply asked the young female "How cold are your hands?" That got a giggle.

It was a fun night. I caught a bunch of crap from the guys about it, but like I said, it was all in good fun. And of course, someone broke out quoting the parent's lines from "So I Married an Axe Murder". I need to get that movie...

...Anyways, I'm going to use some of these phrases I find around here...especially the "My bagpipes, wanna give em a blow?" response. ;)

[Nighthawk]

bystander: Nice skirt!
me: (pointing at bystander's clothes) Nice pajamas!
bystander: I'm not wearing pajamas
me: I'm not wearing a skirt
me: (smile and walk away)

This was from someone on these boards, but I forget who.

That would be Rocky from USAK. I stole and used that one recently myself.