What am I doing wrong?

[Jack Daw]

If you're not wearing a sporran, make sure you separate yuor legs and tuck down on the apron between your legs. Oddly, you'll have a tendancy to flash if you try to keep your knees together where you cannot tuck.

[Thomas]

There´s nothing that could be worse than a "I-am-the-one-who-tells-you-what-to-do-"mother in law. This could mean a lifetime struggle. No joke!
Beware!!!!!! .... and do wear your kilt all the time.
By the way-What does your wife think of the whole story?

[Mipi]

Oddly, you'll have a tendancy to flash if you try to keep your knees together where you cannot tuck.

Oddly but interesting. Would guess that was proven in everyday use.

[sharpdressedscot]

It sounds like she's just trying to brew up something, if you say that you wear underwear and you take precautions that should shut them up. If it doesn't work, do you really have to visit them?

[Finn]

Just because I won't bow to family disapproval, doesn't mean that you have the freedom to do the same.
Talk with your wife and figure out the resolution between the two of you.

[Cynthia]

I think that your mother in law is too hasty. If you had "a problem" when wearing your kilt, then the first thing somebody should have done was to have a quiet word in your ear. This person should have one of those who were flashed ( if that is in fact the case), or your mother in law herself. You could then have made whatever alterations to your posture that were necessary. To simply say ( and this was to your wife, not to you personally !) that you were banned from wearing the kilt, is just draconian.

I am not convinced that you have caused a problem. I think there is something objectionable in your mother in law.

I have to admit, that was my thought when I read your story. I guess I just don't understand the knee jerk reaction some folks have of "OH MY GOSH, I saw something I shouldn't have and am SOOOOO offended" instead of very simply saying (most likely to your wife) "uhh, dear? Could you possibly speak to your husband that he might need to be a little more careful with how he sits? I/we've been seeing a little too much of him... I just wanted to let you know" and then oh.... I don't know... making an effort to not look for the possibility of being flashed? If I think I'm about to get flashed by anyone other than my husband, I look away.

The fact that you've been banned from wearing the kilt outright does make me think there's a lot more to this than simply being flashed.

Then again, I don't know the situation or the people involved. I can of course only go by how I would react to actually being flashed (more than a simple occasional mistake, I would probably only really say something if I got flashed constantly by someone).

I agree that you should speak with your wife. Possibly test out how you sit, recreating any situations that might have been causing a the supposed exposure and see if she can see something. Keep in mind, if someone is really looking for it, they will probably see it, so try to be casual about it (both of you).

And then discuss with her what you should do about the situation.

Good luck with this.

[Ancienne Alliance]

I personaly avoid low sofas (...and they do give me a sore back anyhow !)

[Cynthia]

I personaly avoid low sofas (...and they do give me a sore back anyhow !)

That's a good point, too. Make sure your knees are not higher than your seat when you're sitting. It'll lift the apron.

Sporran and/or apron pushed down between the legs which are not too close together, but also be careful with them too far apart. That can also pull fabric too tight across the lap and "lift".

And I keep hearing women commenting when men sit like that... no.. you do not have to sit "like a lady", but try to sit like a gentleman so they don't jump to conclusions. Although, some people will make a fuss regardless of what you do or how careful you are *shrugs* The trick is to just be aware and try your best and figure out if you should wear the kilt around them or not.

[Nick the DSM]

Six points:

#1 Immediately adopt the kilt as your full time form of dress.
#2 Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
#3 Accept her kind offering with grace and good demeanor!
#4 Your mother-in-law is right – you need not visit her ever again.
#5 This will solve many, many more problems, than you could even begin to think of!
#6 You are a very lucky man!

HAHAAHHAHA!

i think someone is lying about you flashing. you seem to do everything right. next time where some underwear and if they still accuse, you can say that its impossible for them to see anything because you have something underneath.

[Arlen]

I have to admit, from what you've said it seems to me that you are very careful and no one should be able to see anything.
There is the chance that you are moving after you have sit down and exposing something, but that would have to be quite a big move.
I would suspect that it is simply some people having very active imaginations.
Here's an example.

My sister recently told me I had to cross my legs when I was wearing my kilt because she could see my underwear.
I informed her that crossing your legs often made everything more visible. And I called her out. I asked her what colour underwear I was wearing.
'Black' She replied.
'No. Bright red and yellow tartan.' I said. (The kilt was grey tweed, so there could be no mix-ups.)

Perhaps you could have a quiet word with her and say that you are very careful and perhaps even lie and say you were wearing underwear so they shouldn't have been able to see anything at all.
Inform her that you will accede to her wishes if you are in her home, but that if you plan on going anywhere in public together you will continue to wear whatever you want.


Whatever you decide to do, good luck.