Guy walks up to a pirate and says, "Wow...how'd you get the hook?"

Pirate says, "Oh...Arrr...we was fightin' off some rival bucaneers off the Barbary Coast and one of the scurvy dogs sliced me hand clean off."

Guy says, "Wow...that's too bad. How'd you get the eye patch?"

Pirate says, "Bird shat in me eye."

Guy says, "You went blind from bird poop?"

Pirate says, "That was the day after I first got the hook."

Best

AA