The Only Kiltie at a Wedding

**Carolina Kiltman** · 2nd September 08, 07:46 PM

Usually the hostess shouldn't attempt to dictate dress at a function, beyond requesting the formality, a wedding is a bit different. I have seen far too many where someone for some reason has decided to upstage the bride. Do ask her, and respect her wishes on this occasion. All others, do as you see fit.

**Prester John** · 2nd September 08, 08:26 PM

Yeah, just ask the bride. My experience (as a clergyman) is that brides want people to honor them on their special day by dressing up.

Ask, and you shall be given!

**JRB** · 2nd September 08, 08:34 PM

At the last wedding I attended I was the only one kilted. I got no negative feedback whatsoever, three compliments (one of them was from the bride) and a very excited woman who played in a local pipe band and figured I must play in a pipe band as well. She seemed a bit disappointed when she found out I haven't a clue how to pipe! At the end of the night I was happy to be kilted despite the extremely hot (un-air conditioned) banquet hall.

**Nighthawk** · 2nd September 08, 08:48 PM

I officiated a wedding a few months ago where I was the only kilted person. The bride wanted a kilted minister, and she is a Hays and very much into her Scottish heritage, and is her father. He and I had a whole lot in common and talked for hours, but that;s a story for another thread. The groom was a Marchand, which is French. He went in typical rented tuxedo. So not only was I the only one kilted (at the request of the couple), I was involved! I was told by many people that I added an extra touch of elegance. So there you are. My experience was overwhelmingly good.

**ehiker** · 2nd September 08, 08:58 PM

Last wedding I went to was for a good friend of mine whom I've known for about 10 years. She said I shouldn't bother showing up unless it was in my kilt. So I wore the kilt.

Weird thing is, I didn't have one person say anything to me the entire night!

But as we're leaving for the evening, and giving the bride and groom hugs goodbye, my friend says, "You would not BELIEVE how many people have asked me about the wedding guest with the sexy legs!" Apparently they had been asking her about it all night.

The next day she shoots me an e-mail from work to say she had 11 more e-mails from people who were afraid to ask her about the kilted guy at the wedding.

But she said it was a blast and having a kilted man at her wedding just made it that much more memorable for her and her husband.

Pretty cool day, really. I think my wife had a good time, too, which is something I always love to see.

But that was this bride. Every bride is different - definitely ask before you go.

**Tim Little** · 2nd September 08, 09:08 PM

I was the only kilted guest at a wedding a few years ago, but it was at the specific request of bride and groom. Most of their friends thought it was cool, but the older generation was somewhat more dubious. (The groom's grandfather was from Edinburgh, and I couldn't quite tell what he really thought.)

The flip side is that I've been invited to another wedding this fall, which will be a "black-tie" event. The bride (big LARP/ren-faire fan) has always been keen on kilts, and I figured it would be a no-brainer to come in my PC get-up, but asked anyways. I'm very glad I did as she actually said it would be better if I came in a traditional tux or suit, due to the conservative tastes of the other guests. A bummer, but it's her day. Now I just need to find new trousers that will fit a tux that I bought back in high school!

**andyfg** · 3rd September 08, 04:15 AM

I have been to a number of weddings and was the only guest kilted. My tuppence . . . You do not need to ask anyone whether or not you can wear a kilt. (You would not ask permission to wear any other garment, surely?) But you do need to know what kind of wear is expected (formal, semi-formal, casual). As is said many time so on XMarks, the kilt can be dressed up or dressed down.

In my experience of weddings on both sides of the pond, many US weddings are a lot less formal, more diverse than UK weddings. For example, I went to a wedding last week and some male guests wore formal suits, others casual shorts, many in between. So, find out what kind of wedding it is going to be and wear your kilt accordingly. If it is less formal don't wear full highland evening dress!

**Kerr the Walker** · 3rd September 08, 05:59 AM

I just attended a wedding this past weekend where I was the only one kilted. I had on a grey jacket that had been converted from a sport coat. From the waist up, I looked like I was wearing a suit like any other guest. It was only once people got up close that they even noticed. Turns out the bride and groom (and entire wedding party and both sets of parents) thought it was great.

To paraphrase Rex's excellent advice....don't make a big deal out of it yourself and very rarely will anyone else. I've learned that as long as you're respectful and polite, people will pay more attention to that than what you've got on.

**siva011** · 3rd September 08, 07:38 AM

First I would agree that a PC would be a bit too formal, if you chose not to wear the kilt you wouldn't attend as a guest in a tux.

Before my kilting days I attended a wedding, and a guest did come kilted. Sat at our table all night, and to be honest it seems like no one even noticed (or cared) most of the time. Certainly no one said anything. He was the only kiltie in attendance.

And as for upstaging the bride and groom, I don't really think simply wearing a kilt would upstage them. It's usually the drunk guy making a scene, or a family dispute, or (most weddings I've attended) the one trying to steal the show was actually the DJ. Unless you are recreating the famous Braveheart "mooning" scene, I doubt a kilt would upstage the bride. Most eyes are on her from the beginning anyway.

**CelticMedic** · 3rd September 08, 07:58 AM

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10212864@N00/2789084075/
This is me at my nieces wedding. Yes I was the only kilted person. First I asked my sister if it would be ok (my niece is extremely polite and I fear that if I asked her if I could wear a suit of feathers she would have said ok), when I got the go ahead from her I asked my niece. She was actually relieved, she is a bit shy and felt that anything that would make her feel like all the attention wasn't on her made her more relaxed. As it turned out I didn't distract one blink from her day. I wore the kilt in honor of her grandparents ( my mom and dad) who couldn't be there.