A little ticked....

[Rex_Tremende]

She then informed me that she promised my niece and nephew that I "Would!" wear pants.

On further consideration, I might have asked why she was making promises that were not hers to keep.

Regards,
Rex.

[sathor]

I would encourage you to make the decision that you would make if this was the last opportunity you would have to see you family. It may sound morbid, but you would make a decision you would never regret.

cause if they see you wear pants and then you die, they'll think you were just a poser.

[Nighthawk]

What ever happened to "Honour thy Father and Mother..." you may disagree with what she said, and you may disagree with how she said it. What you don't know (or at least haven't shared with any of us) is why she said it. But when all is said and done, she is your Mother, she raised you and your siblings, and she is entitled to make any reasonable request she wants. As a matter of simple respect, you should go along with it.

If you were a smoker, and your Mother didn't want you to smoke in her house, would you go along with it, or arrogantly (and disrespectfully) light up a Lucky?

Maybe if you show some respect in this matter, you'll get some respect down stream.

There's a difference here- it's not A) in her home or B) a health hazard to anyone. Respect among adults is a two way street.

I have another thought. It's a semi formal affair, right? All I have along the lines of pants is a pair of oil stained cargo pants that I use for work around the house on windy days. Wear pants like that and tell them that you refuse to waste money on something that you don't want to wear in the first place. If they want to dress you in a certain way, then they need to front the cash for the clothes.

[LewisG]

This reminds me of a sign I once saw in a garden shop: "Friends welcome, family by appointment only." I think most of us have experienced family problems at one time or another. I agree that there is much more to this than the kilt. Ultimately, you will have to decide what kind of a relationship, if any, you wish to have with your family and what kind of relationship you want your children to have with your family and act accordingly.

You don't say what your inlaws are doing for Thanksgiving. Maybe it's time to do something different this year. I personally would be more upset at observing the holiday at a restaurant than the issue of the kilt.

The best advice I can give is not to make a quick, rash decision. Think things through.

I like to wear bowties to dress social occasions, but for work I wear regular ties. Wearing the bowtie, like wearing the kilt, says I'm independent, think for myself, and am not afraid to be different. It also communicates that I'm not a team player. You have to decide what is appropriate for the circumstances and what you want to communicate. Like it or not, whether it is right or wrong, how we dress effects how people respond to us, as the book Dress For Success points out.

I like wearing a kilt and am pround of my Scottish ancestry (as well as my English ancestry). However I wear both pants and kilts. It depends on the occasion and the circumstances.

[Ivy]

Every time I read these posts about wives or mothers or brothers taking issue with the kilt, I just smile and thank my lucky stars that I'm blessed enough to have a family that loves and respects me regardless of what I choose to wear...(notice how it's rarely the fathers who take issue?) Actually, most of them love it.

It seems to me that your mother could have approached the situation in a more tactful manner. However, regardless of how it went down, you should make it known that you are a grown man who makes your own decisions about what you wear. If your brother has an issue with it he should speak to you about it like an adult, rather than using your mother as an intermediary. You can then inform him that regardless of his prejudice, the kilt is an internationally recognized men's garment, and he can either get on board with it or keep his comments to himself. You may not be able to choose your family, but you can certainly choose whether or not they are good for you or your life. That's how I would handle things anyway.

Charge = $.02

[JRB]

...Respect among adults is a two way street...

You and you alone know how your family works. Therefore I won't offer you any advice other than to say the above statement pretty much sums it up for me. Good luck, sir.

[Moski]

Many replies have assumed that if you wear the kilt you would be disrespectful of your mother or have made statements that you should choose your family over the kilt. Well, your mother does not dictate what you wear nor should she. From the Christian reference above it's assumed that "honor thy mother and father..." applies. It does not in this situation, Theologically 1. Capitulation to whims is not honoring her, choosing your own garment as an adult is not dishonoring her. 2. you have "left your mother and father and cleaved to your wife" and thus have an overriding duty to her above others. None have a say in what she does not restrict. 3. If they make it an issue of not inviting you to dinner it is them that have chosen a garment, p*nts, over blood.

If your other half doesn't mind all others need to keep quiet and show respect to you as an adult and () head of your own family.

[Ivy]

Amen, Moski.

[RamsayClanCommish]

I would tell Mom that it is most fortunate it is Thanksgiving as she can get stuffed right along with the turkey.

And perhaps to the brother, I would also be sure to give him the bird as well.

If I choose to wear the kilt I do so out of pride and love of my heritage, and becaus eit is part of who I am. If people can't accept my kilt, then they are choosing not to accept me. I dont impose my own dress code or beliefs on others and I'll not have the same done to me. Family and friends should accept you for who and what you are instead of passing judgement out of thier own fear or embarrassment.

I too would tell them to enjoy dinner without me and to use the day to count thier blessings and be thankful. Just as I will be thankful I am of Scottish blood and blessed to have a kilt to show such pride.

[ThistleDown]

May I ask, CC, what you would wear to dinner in this particular restaurant barring any interfence from others (than your wife, of course)? And may I ask what your wife would normally wear on such an occasion when you are kilted?