Quote Originally Posted by Riverkilt View Post
Aye Yi Yi!!! Sounds like you're part of one of them families that never lets the kids go on out on their own..."Jeez mom...its 2008 and I'm an adult!!"

A family systems therapist would probably point out that families like this prefer every one stay in their slot and whenever someone moves out of their expected role all the other members endeavor to force the maverick back into their assigned roll.

Families with this attitude often aren't much on accepting wives and husbands into the fold "we're family" prevails over the freedom to break loose and start a new life like most mammals do in adolescence.

Its okay to "divorce" your family....its okay to take a chain saw to the apron strings...its okay to set boundaries with relatives.


Sounds like there are some shaming messages coming your way about being kilted. My belief is the proper response to any shaming message is a sincere, firm two word response requesting the person dispensing the shame do something anatomically impossible. Don't have to say it mean, or challenging, just determined and firmly.

If the best they can find to pick at you with is the kilt....well, that's something good.

And maybe....just maybe...if you invited Mom to your local highland games when they next roll around she might be a tad more open....

Think you're handling the situation well, both with your famdamnily and with sorting through the suggestions from the rabble.

Would be a hoot if there were other Rabble in the Lakeland area that could show up at the same restaurant at the same time...not necessarily to eat...but to stroll through the parking lot, wait like they're waiting for a table...that thing they used to do on the Internet where a whole lot of people show up in the same place in the same time.

Don't know if it applies for your family. One of the things that calmed my late mother was when I got a kilt in her clan tartan...she had no clue...but when I told her she beamed and that was the end of the "why kilted?" issue with her.

Ron
As always Ron cuts to the chase with very good advice. The only thing I would add at all is the fact that you can choose to relate or not to relate with your family. There are lots of places where your own family (wife and son) would be welcome with open arms; where your skills as a Chef would be appreciated, and where your choice of Kilted or not would be respected.

My own church holds a Thanksgiving Dinner for those who do not have family, or choose to relate to their church family instead. I find these dinners to be touching and very fuliflling. Never forget there is always an alternative either church, or social club, or outreach group. Heck you could fry up a bird and take it to the ambulance bay, or fire station and have dinner with your co-workers who have to be on that day.

There is probably more Rabble around where you live than you than you think, a Kilted Thanksgiving Dinner with Rabble and Kin could be organized for future Thanksgivings. I have found that when we abesent ourselves from the higherarchy of our families, when we go back, there is greater acceptance.