A little ticked....

[Nighthawk]

Would be a hoot if there were other Rabble in the Lakeland area that could show up at the same restaurant at the same time...not necessarily to eat...but to stroll through the parking lot, wait like they're waiting for a table...that thing they used to do on the Internet where a whole lot of people show up in the same place in the same time.



Ron

Oh if only they lived in Denver.

[BroosterB1]

Aye Yi Yi!!! Sounds like you're part of one of them families that never lets the kids go on out on their own..."Jeez mom...its 2008 and I'm an adult!!"

A family systems therapist would probably point out that families like this prefer every one stay in their slot and whenever someone moves out of their expected role all the other members endeavor to force the maverick back into their assigned roll.

Families with this attitude often aren't much on accepting wives and husbands into the fold "we're family" prevails over the freedom to break loose and start a new life like most mammals do in adolescence.

Its okay to "divorce" your family....its okay to take a chain saw to the apron strings...its okay to set boundaries with relatives.


Sounds like there are some shaming messages coming your way about being kilted. My belief is the proper response to any shaming message is a sincere, firm two word response requesting the person dispensing the shame do something anatomically impossible. Don't have to say it mean, or challenging, just determined and firmly.

If the best they can find to pick at you with is the kilt....well, that's something good.

And maybe....just maybe...if you invited Mom to your local highland games when they next roll around she might be a tad more open....

Think you're handling the situation well, both with your famdamnily and with sorting through the suggestions from the rabble.

Would be a hoot if there were other Rabble in the Lakeland area that could show up at the same restaurant at the same time...not necessarily to eat...but to stroll through the parking lot, wait like they're waiting for a table...that thing they used to do on the Internet where a whole lot of people show up in the same place in the same time.

Don't know if it applies for your family. One of the things that calmed my late mother was when I got a kilt in her clan tartan...she had no clue...but when I told her she beamed and that was the end of the "why kilted?" issue with her.

Ron

As always Ron cuts to the chase with very good advice. The only thing I would add at all is the fact that you can choose to relate or not to relate with your family. There are lots of places where your own family (wife and son) would be welcome with open arms; where your skills as a Chef would be appreciated, and where your choice of Kilted or not would be respected.

My own church holds a Thanksgiving Dinner for those who do not have family, or choose to relate to their church family instead. I find these dinners to be touching and very fuliflling. Never forget there is always an alternative either church, or social club, or outreach group. Heck you could fry up a bird and take it to the ambulance bay, or fire station and have dinner with your co-workers who have to be on that day.

There is probably more Rabble around where you live than you than you think, a Kilted Thanksgiving Dinner with Rabble and Kin could be organized for future Thanksgivings. I have found that when we abesent ourselves from the higherarchy of our families, when we go back, there is greater acceptance.

[sathor]

Aye Yi Yi!!! Sounds like you're part of one of them families that never lets the kids go on out on their own..."Jeez mom...its 2008 and I'm an adult!!"

Bah, in a 'hurt' email from my mom today, she said I can wear my kilt if I am going to be in Cincy or Dayton, but not here in town where it could hurt my family.

[Sir Robert]

My family is just me and my 17 year old daughter Kelli. She is just fine with the kilts. We went to the Louisiana Highland Games yesterday and she wore a kilt! I had to dress her though, the basting stiches were still in and the front apron gave her fits but she did go out in public with her Dad in a skirt.

I can not imagine catching hell from my own flesh and blood. I would be devistated.

I can't offer much advice other than to stand up for yourself and your ancestors.

[sathor]

I enjoy this, I just found out my mom, that complained again about me in kilt, just so happens to be about 1/16~1/8 Scottish, with Stewarts and Gordons on the tree. My great^4 grandmother was a Gordon. (Who married a Frenchie, which I think French and German is all the family knew.... Ancestry.com has finally paid off)

Of course, since there is some Scottish in my wife, the degradation slows with them a little, but at least now I can say that my Royal Stewart kilt might damn well be my actual family. (Though the Gordons are closer, I think I'll look at that sets of kilts next....)

[thescot]

There are several things to consider here.

First, I agree with CavScout. You did well. I've done the same in similar cricumstances, and as much as I love my family, I believe that if my duds are more important than me, then I must not be too important. And it speaks very loudly when you don't show up. It tends to soften the future reunions.

Second, it'll probably be a snowy winter in Hell before I allow my neices or nephews to dictate what I do, when I do it, or how I do it. Or my siblings. Or you guys. Or . . . well, you get the idea. Narrow minded people who are also ignorant are not entitled to an opinion in my book.

Third, if family is that important, then why aren't you--a family member--as important as they? The obvious snub is not to be tolerated in my life. (But remember, I am old and crotchety, and I don't take much cr@p anymore. Life is too short.)

Fourth, this, too, shall pass. In families, there are no sins that cannot be forgiven. (I stole that from Conroy.)

Good luck. Come to Atlanta, and you can eat with us. We'll wear kilts and toast the king over the water if you like and recite Burns poems. After all, a man's a man for a'l that.

[Nighthawk]

Good luck. Come to Atlanta, and you can eat with us. We'll wear kilts and toast the king over the water if you like and recite Burns poems. After all, a man's a man for a'l that.

That sentiment is echoed from at least one Coloradoan. If the mood strikes you and the lovely Mrs, you're welcome here. It may not be a home cooked meal- it may be a restaurant- but still, you will be welcomed with open arms.

[JelicoCat]

I have one brother. His priorities in life are quite different than mine. I accept him for who he is and he accepts me for who I am. It's difficult at times but we both make the effort to focus in on the fact that we are family and in the end that's whats important. Others in any family should make the same effort. If wearing the kilt is is part of who you are then so be it. Just make sure that you aren't upset at being told what to do. With that said, if it were me, I would wear the kilt.

[ANGELMAN]

Just my .02 Family is most important, but respect is a two way street. I enjoy wearing the kilt most days. My sister would like to borrow them, Dad jokes while trying to figure me out, mom accepts it. At the end of the day we are all still family and would go to the ends of the earth for each other. That said I feel dress is a personal choice and as a grown man I will were what I want when I want if in a nuetral place. If I was going to someone's home I would respect their request or just stay home. If in public wear the kilt.......... Good Luck!

[Dean]

I think you did good. I would have said the same thing.

They are family and should accept you the way you are. It would be the same if you were gay and were told to leave your partner at home and bring a girl just to please the relatives.

Yes, it is a garment, but it is STILL YOUR CHOICE. They should respect that.