I don't advocate you follow my advice but were I in your shoes Squeaky, I would not attend the wedding. In fact, there is not a hammer big enough to drive the wedge that I would have already put in place.

I would also treat your move to New Zealand as an opportunity to permanently close the door. I wouldn't even give the woman my new address. No letters, no phonecalls, no emails, no christamas cards, nothing.

As you may notice I am not a very forgiving person so please don't do what I would do.