The best Christmas cookies ever

[Southern Breeze]

This has probably been posted before but if not, here it is.



The best Christmas cookies ever:

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle of your favorite Scotch Whiskey

Sample the Scotch to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Scotch again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar, beat again. At this point it’s best to make sure the Scotch is still OK, try another cup…just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick fruit off froor…Mix on the turner. If the fried druit get stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Scotchto check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Sheck the Scotch. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish Scothss and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

[george7]

Shounds likes some a some good cookies.

[Ivy]

Hi-lar-i-ous. Sounds like a few of my (not so) distant relatives!

1 bottle of your favorite Scotch Whiskey

I believe you mean whisky!

[Southern Breeze]

I believe you mean whisky!

LLOoOKSS gudd ttooo me. Ths ccOkiess arRr ggrEeat!

[Southern Breeze]

For those who prefer cake instead of cookies.

CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE

You'll need the following:

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle of whisky

Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it's the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK.
Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.

[Carolinascot]

I can't wait to try out these recipes!!!

[Sionnach]

I always start my recipes from the bottom-


now the whisky is all gone


and I can't figure out why the oven is on!

[Spartan]

I forwarded the recipe to my wife. Was that a mistake?

[Prester John]

I especially like the finish.