Style, Fashion Rules, traditions, Flat caps, and the missing element...

[ForresterModern]

I agree that the kilt police fear and mentality ought to be discarded by all on this forum, and would like to apologize for my kilt cop comment in a different albeit heated thread yesterday. However. we speak long and hard about respect on this forum---respect for tradition, respect for our heritage, respect for style and the "norm" of classical kilt wearing. However often the concept of respect for others rights and feelings are lost in those conversations, and when folks begin accusing certian individuals or certain acts or decidions by those individuals of being "disrespectful", it becomes more personal. In fact disrespect is a very personal thing, a personal affront to someone in particular usually, or sometimes a particular group of individuals with a common belief.

Just because someone dresses differently, does not follow the norms, may mix heritages and styles in ways not deemed historically correct, does not mean that they intend any disrespect to any person or group of persons, or heritage in general, although that is often how it is percieved by those persons feeling disrespected. But defining the boundaries of where each of us end and where the rest of the world begins is a primary issue with these kind of perceived acts of disrespect. In other words, don;t take it personally if someone doesn't agree with you about what goes with what. You may express your opinion but please don't accuse someone of an act of disrespect just becasue you do not agree with their position on the subject.

Burning American flags has for a long time been a controversial topic in the US----we have the right to do so in the first amendment of our constitution as a sign of freedom of speech and expression, but it clearly rankles a lot of folks who have in some way made a sacrifice in the name of America (war veterans in particular), and to them that flag means more than just a flag, they are far moe invested in it that others could ever imagine. It is proper for them to speak their piece/peace about the flag burning and express their disdain, but I think claiming that the flag burning is disrespectful falls far short of understanding that those sacrifices made by them were done so to protect just those very rights to the freedom to express oneself that brought about the flag burning in the first place.

History and education are great, wehn taught as defined and impassionate information transfer. It is when emotion becomes involved that the lesson is no longer valid. If yo uwant to teach the forum about something do so in an impassionate manner---teach the facts, not the opinions. If you want to express your opinion, please remove the pretense of doing so under the guise of teaching, and say just that, that it is your opinion, not historical fact or absolutely fixed convention. People here do that all the time----IMHO, my tuppence, mod hat off, etc. are all signs that forum members and moderators are setting out their person opinion----not necessarily fact or dogma, but merely one mans opinion.

People should seek at all times to maximally RESPECT each other for what and who they are, as individuals neighbors and fellow residents on this big blue ball we call earth, but at the same time respect the rights of those others to disagree with our opinions, just as we are disagreeing with theirs.

In the words of the working class ghetto town in which I grew up, "different strokes for different folks, so lets all just chill out and enjoy the ride".

[DWFII]

I think there's a confusion in many people's minds about what respect (and disrespect) really is.

In the first place, doing nothing is neither an act of respect or disrespect.

The very public and theatrical burning of a flag is not an act of respect that's for sure. It is not a passive act. It does express some sentiment or political point of view...whether the pyro wants to admit it or not. If only because like all such behaviour it is, at its core, a form of communication. And like all communication it is just as dependent upon the recipient receiving the intended "message" as the person delivering it. If flag burning is not meant as an act of disrespect, the better course would be to leave the dern flag alone!

In the second place, talking about or urging respect for traditions, culture or even other people is not the same as expressing disrespect for those who don't agree.

"Owning" or defending an issue that is not really your own, or that does not engender enough pride that you can make it wholly your own...to the point of becoming offended...sets up a situation where you are constantly on the defensive and never able to view other people's opinions dispassionately.

I have never understood the attitude that takes offense because someone else criticizes or dislikes a...what?...let's say, whisky that I like. I did not make that whisky. I don't take any personal pride in it. I do not own it nor do I feel obliged to get up in arms about it. A critque of it is just another interesting point of view.

Similarly, I am not offended by people who think I am wearing a costume because I dress in Highland attire...I am realistic...and objective...enough to call it what it is and if it is "costume," so be it. I take pride in wearing it, and what it represents and I take even greater pride in wearing it with respect.

If I were the kind of person who thought all that was nonsense ...who liked the look of the "modern" "kilt" and valued my "freedom" to thumb my nose at social convention and all those stuffy and "staunch traditionalists"... I would hope to have the objectivity and pride to disassociate myself from any notion that what I was wearing had anything at all to do with Scotland or highland attire. And I would hope that I had enough pride and objectivity to not take offense when someone else makes the same observation.

"Disrespect" is like kind of like the flu...there's enough of it going around for everybody. We don't need to become alarmed every time someone sneezes or blows their nose.

The bottom line is that if you don't want to be confronted by different points of view...or even people who disagree with you...you need to hole up indoors, never go out, and not post on forums. (and I'm sure I'll get my share here )