Denied

**Minnow** · 25th February 09, 08:58 AM

WOW, I didn't expect this thread to be taken so far. I know it's strayed off topic somewhat, but I really didn't expect so much discussion.

Even though I'm wearing a tux for the ceremony, I was told I was more than welcome to change into my kilt for the reception if I wanted. Which I certainly will do. I don't think I'll be the only one either.

-Minnow

**Pleater** · 26th February 09, 03:29 AM

Conventions are - in today's terms, local.

In 19th century England, in most places the average man would not attend church a coloured shirt because 'Sunday best' was a white shirt and jacket, and women would have a white dress or white blouse and light coloured skirt - and white stockings rather than the darker attire of a working day.

In some areas the shirt and jacket were too upmarket - I have read of the indignation of a new vicar when he saw the fishermen attending church in their best patterned 'ganseys' or jerseys - which were the best they had. A bridegroom might have a white gansey, highly patterned, for the wedding and Sunday best, until it was worn out or outgrown. A white jersey was also appropriate for a first communion.

In the TV series derived from the 'Lark Rise to Candleford' books, in the latest episode a maiden lady deciding on her wedding dress was thinking that dove grey would be appropriate for someone her age, declaring that it was proper, white being for a younger bride.

As so much of wedding ritual is preserved from former times, I would suspect that although the wedding might not be in a church there are elements of church going customs still there.

The rule is, of course, don't outshine everyone at the church, though the reception is slightly more relaxed.

I will be attending a wedding in May, and as the mother of the groom I have to stand around with a fixed smile wearing a nice dress of the appropriate colour - the bride has American connections, the wedding is in a hotel, her parents are divorced, her wedding has to better than her sisters' do's were and the father's new woman has to be seated at the top table or he isn't going to give her away - half that family isn't talking to the other - did I mention tap dancing through minefields could be a new hobby?

Anne the Pleater

**Phil** · 26th February 09, 03:44 AM

Originally Posted by Pleater

I will be attending a wedding in May, and as the mother of the groom I have to stand around with a fixed smile wearing a nice dress of the appropriate colour - the bride has American connections, the wedding is in a hotel, her parents are divorced, her wedding has to better than her sisters' do's were and the father's new woman has to be seated at the top table or he isn't going to give her away - half that family isn't talking to the other - did I mention tap dancing through minefields could be a new hobby?

Anne the Pleater

Well join the club - I was at two weddings just like that last year. One I wasn't to wear my kilt for fear of offending the (English) groom and the other none of the groom's relations were to be invited. People do tend to get a bit uptight about these things and, in the event, both went off passably well, albeit with some trepidation about who was going to make a complete mess of the whole thing! And yes - I did wear my kilt. The groom couldn't understand why I shouldn't, yet another example of the importance of discussing things.