Getting laughed at

[CDNSushi]

I couldn't justify putting this into the General forum, because technically speaking, this has nothing to do with kilts. Well, not directly, anyway.

Often times I browse through that forum I read through random stories that people give about their "kilted day" and all the comments they receive, both positive and negative. Whenever we receive negative feedback from our kilt-wearing, it's very easy to zero in on what's causing it. It's visually obvious. And yet, I just want to remind my clansmen, that we need to keep things in perspective -- the world has its share of twits and boors, whether we are kilted around them or not.

This is a story of my day, NOT kilted. Just two days ago, my wife and I went for supper to our favourite, neighbourhood Chinese restaurant. I was wearing slacks and a sweater, and my wife was similarly attired. There were only two groups of patrons in the restaurant other than us, an old couple and a mixed group of 8 middle-aged folks (all Japanese). Since the moment we walked in, things started to go from bad to worse. Ironically enough, the old couple were louder than the table of 8 and ALL of them (both tables) were INCREDIBLY loud, yelling, drinking, smoking (yes, all of them -- men & women both) and carrying on... considering it was an otherwise empty restaurant. After a little while, my wife got up and went over to the loudest group (the old couple) and VERY politely smiled and told them (in Japanese) that she had a bit of a headache and if they could kindly not yell so loud. Well, they DID (for a little while, but not before giving my wife the glare of death) and the group of 8, sitting nearby, well -- that was their cue to start ridiculing us and berating us, and we immediately became the main subject of their conversation as they kept laughing and yelling "GAIJIN" this and "GAIJIN" that... And they kept mocking us --- "Shhhh! Be careful or the GAIJIN women will come get ya!" etc.. etc... This of course went on for our entire meal and up until we got up to leave afterward. We tried our best to ignore them, but that was indeed impossible.

I should add at this point, that the word "gaijin" means "foreigner" in Japanese -- but just about the same way as "n*gger" means "African American." Polite people do not use that word. In fact, Japanese mass media *bleeps* out "gaijin" when it is spoken on the radio or television...

Anyway, it was amazingly rude and mind-numbingly childish and immature of them to behave the way they did. For a group of 50+ year olds you'd think they'd know better, especially considering that the restaurant owners themselves are foreigners from Taiwan. If I had been the owner I would have asked them to leave! (Actually, my wife had a long talk with the woman who owns the place and told her that they stand to lose a lot of business in the future if they can't control their other guests. My wife reminded her that our church often reserves an entire room in the restaurant for special functions and spends a lot of money there on a regular basis... She should really be mindful of that in the future).

Well, that was my point. You don't need to stand out by wearing a kilt to be made fun of by grown adults. All it takes is not being a part of someone's "IN-group."

[Cynthia]

You're very right. It doesn't take much. In fact, it may not even be you at all! The types who would do that are going to do it no matter what. For whatever reason. To be "funny" for their friends. To cover up their own insecurities. To let loose and just rant away, venting frustration. Who knows.

The people who are going to be mean, tease, ridicule... they're going to do it to someone regardless of how much you stand out (or not, even... just not being part of "the group" is reason enough for some... they'll find something about you to be mean about).

It's very sad behavior. And unfortunate! For all they know, you could have been an interesting conversation to remember or even become a great friend eventually. Their loss.

[Nick]

That's very true.

I don't go kilted all the time (and since I've lost weight I've been kilted very little until I can alter my tank), and more and more lately I've been dressing in things other than jeans and a t-shirt during the day. I like wearing 3-piece suits or high-waisted, wide leg trousers (ala 1930s) with a tie or bowtie and waistcoat, and I always top it off with a gray fedora or a black homburg. Suffice it to say I stick out quite as much on campus when thus attired as when kilted. I don't get a lot of comments, and they're usually positive, but every now and then I'll get snide Indiana Jones comments or such things.

[Spartan]

The PLU syndrome (Pleope Like Us) -- that is, expecting everyone to be PLU, and berating those who aren't.

[meinfs]

So sorry to hear that CDN!!! *big sigh*

[cessna152towser]

Yes, the sort of insecure inadequate people who will mock you when they are in the safety of a group would mock you whether or not you are kilted. The only thing I would add is that it helps to stride out confidently when kilted rather than playing to their insecurities by appearing insecure in yourself.

[Panache]

CNDSushi,

I must say that I liked your very polite response to this group.

"Poise is the art of raising the eyebrow and not the roof"

It just goes to show that their are rude people everywhere and that unpleasantness is best treated as noise, which in fact it is.

I think I would have been tempted to inform and thank the restaurant host or hostess on leaving the restaurant "that the meal was lovely but sadly you were unlikely to return as that you found their establishment to be far too loud for your tastes."

Perhaps such impoliteness might be tended to by the staff the next time a foreign diner visited their restaurant.

Cheers

Jamie

[Pleater]

It might seem strange - but the present economic downturn might have something to do with this boorish behaviour.

When a generally sucessful economy goes into reverse it can give people quite a shock if they have not experienced anything like it for a considerable time - people who still have money feel that they are special, an elite and the usual rules no longer apply to them, particularly when they come across someone who could be construed as being connected with the group or nation who caused the downturn in the first place.

So there are the ten customers feeling they do not need to be polite, the semi foreign restaurant owners who are reluctant to jepardise that night's takings even if possible future bookings could be at risk, and a couple of innocent bystanders who suffer an unplesant experience.

It's a funny old world, when you think about it.

Anne the Pleater

[Howard Clark]

Well Japan is a sort of special case in terms of it's sociology maybe. "Normal" takes on a whole different context there, from what I can gather. Granted, I have not yet been there, but I have had quite a bit of contact with Japanese people here, because of what I do (I make very high performance Japanese style swords for martial arts practitioners and collectors). In general, the folks I meet are of a more traditional attitude when it comes to culture, and always very polite. They sometimes grieve the loss of traditional values and the decay of society at home (just like everywhere else). They come here to find more students to help keep the sword arts alive, because fewer and fewer young people at home wish to pursue traditional arts, crafts and disciplines (sound familiar ?).

We live in interesting times, and you handled that well ! I have only ever been called Gaijin in jest, with a smile. But I have been insulted in English plenty. We always have a choice about how we react though. Always.

Well done I say.

[Kerr the Walker]

Definitely handled it well. I always find the group mentality interesting. A person by himself is generally fairly well behaved and socially adjusted. That seems to go out the window when surrounded by other people in their group.

My dad used to get called "haole" all the time while in med-school. Basically the Hawai'ian equivalent to gaijin.

Then for about a month after he married my mom my uncle called him "exenos" (greek for foreigner). All in fun that time though