X Marks the Scot has changed

[CDNSushi]

As a personal observation, I'd like to say that it seems to me, ever since I joined XMTS, there has been FAR more action in the world of traditional kilts... Maybe it's because there's far more stuff to talk about: different tartans, a zillion accessories, and a thousand places to buy them.

Anyway, as far as the comments here go: having been a member on numerous forums (still am) and having moderated yet others (still do), let me just add that I've found that the best way to keep one's forum visits enjoyable is to take a break from it now and then. If you're on ANY forum every day, after a while it starts to feel like a regular JOB rather than the pleasant diversion it's meant to be. No one can tell you if/when it's time for a sabbatical -- everyone's different.

I haven't been on hardly at all for the past few days, and I don't read much forum stuff on the weekends. I've already come to grips with the fact that I'll never be able to keep up with the dozens of threads that crop up like mushrooms every day, and I don't even try. But I'm OK with that...

Interest in any given thing waxes and wanes for most of us and it all probably depends on what part of the cycle you're viewing things from. I signed up on BotK but at this juncture I spend very little time there. Its hard to explain why not, but that may also change.

I've been irked by the odd person or comment here and there but nothing serious. If it really started getting to me, I'd probably not come here so much. Conversely, echoing Bart's comments, I too hope that I'm not on anyone's ignore list -- I would sincerely hope that someone would talk to me personally and honestly about what was bothering them before taking that step.

[DWFII]

I think forums do change and just by where they are to be found and how they are made accessible to the public, one of the primary objectives is to grow.

Growth implies...well, "growing pains" as well as change and even more importantly 'learning'--at all levels.

In practical terms this means that people will come and go...some will test the boundaries; some will forever be like hungry baby birds in a nest--with their mouths forever open, needing , pleading for more information; some will come looking for guidance, some will come looking for camaraderie.

But especially on that last point I am not so sure that being a source for information and being an exclusive club of drinking buddies are compatible beyond the...oh, say 200 member level. At 8000 members what may have been a very pleasant meeting place has become more or less a bustling metropolis. Where anonymity is the rule rather than the exception...and maybe even preferred.

That's the reality every forum faces. Those that would really prefer a more intimate venue, usually resort to membership-by-invitation-only or some sort of "list."

In passing (and take this with a grain of salt--I am a "traditionalist")...when it comes to contemporary kilts versus Highland Attire, and the presumed growth of discussion (if such there is) about them...well, it occurs to me that if there are no "rules" then the topics and subtopics of discussion run out in a big fat hurry. If anything goes...why bother to talk about it? It's OK. It's all good. Even purple shirts with chartreuse kilts and black mesh stockings.

Maybe the weighting (if such there is) towards "traditional" kilts is, to some degree, just because it gives us something to discuss.

[Scotus]

This is all very interesting. I've been a member four years (come March 20). When I first joined I was a bit put off by some of the rebelious attitudes of some of the members. Thankfully, I see that this has changed. I hope that I have, in my own small way, contributed to the drifting of this forum to more of a traditionalist bent.

BTW, just curious, why is it okay to call traditionalist "extreme" and refer to us as the "Kilt Taliban" in this thread? Why the need to attach these particular words to traditionlist?

[meinfs]

Your "growth"...not really the right word, but I guess it will have to do....as a kiltmaker has been a joy to watch, meinfs. Whether making a contemporary kilt or a more traditional buckled, tartan kilt, you do a good job and are an inspiration to many, including myself.

On a more personal note:

Alan - thank you for your kind words. In our windchill near zero temperatures where I am, it warms my heart to hear you say that I've inspired you, you who have inspired many others, including myself. It is a wonderful thing when the goodness is returned and returned around again. They have terms for this, like pay it forward, positive feedback, etc. Others get inspired, who, in turn inspire/help others. This is one of the beauties of this online forum.

I've developed into a budding kiltmaker, out of nothing but a wish, still am developing, and I owe a lot to many members of XMTS, directly and indirectly. I see many images here shared by others that inspire. Allow me this analogy. This evokes a mental image that I've see before, a little turtle standing on a bigger turtle that's standing on yet a bigger turtle --- it's turtles, turtles, turtles, all the way. That's what's supporting the weight of the earth.


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I'd like to echo Aldisimo's sentiments, that I've not really felt that contemporary and casual kilts are not welcome. I don't have a problem with that.


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This forum-soul-searching thread is quite interesting and to me quite welcome and refreshing. It is sometimes good to have a cathartic discussion of things. Not unlike working on relationships. Perhaps Alan H you're experiencing the four year itch.

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I've had an Off Topic post pulled out not too long ago (it says "moved") and I never not got an explanation and I never saw where it was moved to. I don't see any reason for it (at the time). Oh, now it's coming back to me, it might be because it was a birthday message and article to a person long dead but whose theories were and still are "controversial" that still touch people's beliefs. (Ahh, I think I see why).

It's actually only recently that I'm realizing that certain topics are verboten. I suppose it's because I've mostly just talked about kilts and not a lot about off-topic topics.


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CAUTION: BIG RANT ahead!!!



NOW as for things that bother me and hit closer to home --- I DISLIKE it when Private Messages are NOT RETURNED. It is very rude. I can see why anybody can decide not to post a comment on a public thread. If one does not agree or has nothing good to say, it's better not to say anything. Yes, I give you that (and thank you). Nobody can force anybody to comment on threads. But a private message? I just ask for a basic, standard courtesy...

But, on the positive side of it -- I believe in second, third, ... nth chances given to people. I don't tend to write people off. I still give the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, things fall through the cracks. And I hope, in return, that people give me another chance too.


But I just don't see what's so wrong with me not to deserve a response... (I say that with tongue-in-cheek, taken with a grain of salt and what have you.)

OFF the soapbox now.

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Thanks for listening and more power to XMTS members and moderators!


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[DWFII]

BTW, just curious, why is it okay to call traditionalist "extreme" and refer to us as the "Kilt Taliban" in this thread? Why the need to attach these particular words to traditionlist?

I agree...sometimes, it is hard for me to square what I hear and see the mods saying they want in terms of tolerance and a "family and friendly atmosphere," and what they allow to stand.

I suspect...I hope...it is only that "traditional" virtue of "politeness" that keeps things from blowing up more often than they do.

[Panache]

To the Members of XMTS

The kilt is not a historical costume.

It is a garment that continues to be a viable fashion option in the modern world.

No other garment can convey such historical and familial ties.

No other garment can make such a strong personal statement about one’s individuality.

They are comfortable, stylish, and handsome.

Kilts and kilted fashion continue to grow and evolve.

Likewise X Marks the Scot continues to grow and evolve.

Communities mature, and this online community over the years has grown and developed an extensive knowledge base.

We are the premier source of information regarding the kilt on the world wide web.

XMTS remains the finest place on the internet where people of all ages, races, nationalities, sexes, and sexualities can come to learn and share about this wonderful garment.

Is there less discussion about contemporary / modern kilts than in the early days?

Perhaps, though there are certainly a huge number of people interested in buying, making, and wearing them. To be honest contemporary /modern kilts are still a pretty new fashion and there are little rules concerning them, thus less discussion or debate.

When someone wishes information about traditional highland wear there is a history and conventions that bear review. Even among traditionalists there are points of contention to some of the more modern trends that have developed in the last 50 years or so.

Politeness and respect are the key elements to keeping discussions on this forum productive.

Another vastly important one is expectations. If one wishes to compose an outfit and present a picture to the forum that person should ask themselves what they wish from their fellow members.

If all one desires is praise, they had best state “This is my outfit and I wanted to share it with everyone as I am so happy with it and think it looks great”.

The rest of our members then know that this individual is not looking for a critique, but simply to share with others. This is perfectly fine.

If one asks “Here’s my outfit. What do you think?” Then they must be prepared to receive a number of different responses. Some may be positive, others not so. Hopefully all this feedback will be constructive.

If you do not wish feedback and only praise or support then it behooves one to make it clear.

For those wishing to respond it behooves them to see if the poster is looking for feed back or praise /support.

If they are, it is best that any criticism be constructive, state details, and uses “I” sentences.

The poster needs to politely accept this feedback and then it remains to them whether to take it or not.

Asking for feedback is different than sharing.

By and large our traditionalists have accepted that modern /contemporary kilts are their own thing and the conventions and rules of traditional dress don’t apply to them. Therefore they do not offer feedback to them as they are not of interest to them, and their knowledge is not of use in regard to them.

However when one asks for feedback on a traditional outfit they offer (and will continue to offer it is hoped) the benefit of their experience.

The traditionalists do have to make sure that they remain polite in their opinions and suggestions. Also they must accept that there are conventions that they like as well as ones they don’t. A modern convention they do not care for is still a convention. They can not appreciate it, they can refer to earlier ones they prefer, but to denounce them as “foolish” or “wrong” is in fact both wrong and foolish.

It is to be noted that many members of our forum and the staff of XMTS are members of other Kilt Forums. This is absolutely fine as we have personally learned much from other perspectives and there are some other kilt forums that compliment XMTS very well. But it is expected that if one wishes to post here that one does so as a member of this forum. It is both against the rules and incredibly impolite to promote another site on ours. The Mod Squad tips their collective hats to those that we see elsewhere and who know that when they are here they are members of this group, and that those other places have no bearing or place on XMTS.

The moderating staff of XMTS do not see that the continuation of this thread is going to be productive and we are closing it.

In this thread people have voiced all manner of opinions and hopefully some have felt the chance to “clear the air”. We must accept that this is a difficult time for a lot of people and that these stresses can spill over to our forum.

The good that can come out of this thread is for each of our members to think a little more when they post to make sure that they are clear in what they want or what they are trying to convey, and do so in a polite and respectful manner.

Anyone can just jot down the first thing that comes into their head.

The members of our forum are notable for being able to express themselves and remain The Ladies and Gentlemen of X Marks the Scot.com

Jamie, Nelson, Glen, and Bradley