How to talk her into it?

**Kerr the Walker** · 6th April 09, 10:04 AM

Many thanks for the replies and suggestions. I think what it's going to come down to is me saying my piece to tell her how I feel about it, but if she won't get on board to drop it. All told, it's just clothes and not worth getting all bent about.

I'll definitely keep you all posted reagrdless.

**dfmacliam** · 6th April 09, 10:20 AM

A womans wedding is one of the most important events in her life. It's something they think about from a young age. Her cousin has done this already, and she does not want to copy her. If you can figure out a way to make it special way for her and not resemble someone elses wedding, I am sure you will be able to convince her of what you would like.

**The Barry** · 6th April 09, 10:20 AM

Saying that wearing a kilt would diminish a formal kit is like saying that you can't wear a tux because you wear slacks to work.

Makes no sense. Should have married the cousin!

**Tim B** · 6th April 09, 10:29 AM

I ecountered a similar problem when I proposed renewing our vows in formal kilt attire. My wife was ABSOLUTELY against it, even though she really likes me in a kilt. Couldn't figure out why for the longest time. Then she confided that she believes that a wedding (or renewal of vows) is all about the bride... which any self-respecting verile male would agree...She felt that me in a kilt, being that it would be somewhat unusual in this neck of the woods, would be SO unusual that the emphasis of the day would be on the fact that I was kilted...not on the renewal of our vows, or her as the bride.

Reluctantly, I have to admit that she is probably correct. Those who would be attending our event, even thought some have seen me regularly in a kilt, would probably be much more attentive to seeing someone in a kilt in Des Moines, Iowa than to the radiant beauty of my wife or the blessedness of the occasion. Part of human nature, I'm afraid.

The debate is still on.

**piperdbh** · 6th April 09, 10:52 AM

Perhaps a compromise will work: Wear the tux (with britches*) in the wedding (and the pictures), and the kilt (with those new hose you won!) to the reception.

Here's a little more advice on weddings: take the pictures before the ceremony, if at all possible. That way, after the ceremony, you can visit with your guests a little longer at the reception. We did that, but then the photographer wanted some more shots of just the two of us, which stretched into about 45 minutes, and by the time we got to the reception, some of the guests were already gone. While a wedding may/may not be "about the bride?, it's also about the guests, some of whom will have travelled some distance to see you.

*yes, there's an R in that word.

**starbkjrus** · 6th April 09, 10:53 AM

I'm not very diplomatic and vehemently disagree with the idea that the wedding is "all about the bride". This is what has spawned the Bridezilla attitudes and ridiculous event of the century weddings.

A wedding is a union of equals. She gets to pick what she and her attendants wear and you get the to do the same for what you and your attendants wear.

'Nuff said.

**McClef** · 6th April 09, 11:07 AM

Originally Posted by Chrissss

This is HER day to shine. Giving her that is one of the best wedding gifts you can give her.

Chris...
(happily married for 22 years...)

In this modern age it's about equality and there can be nothing worse than a happy Bride on the day and an unhappy Bridegroom who is refused his chance to shine also.

Looking at the wedding pictures could lead to resentment when she has free choice of what to wear and he doesn't.

I bet the guy who modelled his ex wife's wedding dress on Ebay would have been happier in a kilt too.

**Nighthawk** · 6th April 09, 11:11 AM

My first thought on this issue is- people wear pants all the time, too. Does that cheapen the wearing of tuxedo pants at your wedding? Check out my website- www.cocelticweddings.com - for some pictures. There aren't as many as I would like, but it may help.

Originally Posted by McClef

In this modern age it's about equality and there can be nothing worse than a happy Bride on the day and an unhappy Bridegroom who is refused his chance to shine also.

Looking at the wedding pictures could lead to resentment when she has free choice of what to wear and he doesn't.

I bet the guy who modelled his ex wife's wedding dress on Ebay would have been happier in a kilt too.

Seconded. I agree with this completely. I tell couples that it is their day- no one else's.

Another thing I emphacize is the fact that a wedding is a union of two diverse and different people. There is no reason at all for the cultures and beliefs of both to not be incorporated.