Kilt Etiquette

[puffer]

To start with, I wear a kilt as my primary attire. So therefore I wear it as I would wear P^&*TED Attire. ( simply substitute the appropriate kilt for the P&^%Ts

1. Wedding = ) what ever the style of wedding dictates. ( Casual to formal)
( unless part of the wedding Party my "formal attire" would be a Crail Jacket & vest etc)

2. Funeral =
a. If a memorial then my attire is dictated by the setting ( a celebration of the person's life, to a somber "wake".
b. If a Full funeral, again my attire is dictated by the setting, But I would opt for a darker, subdued look. Relaxed look = Charcoal Grey or navy Tweed jacket & vest. Same colored hose & flashes, & my BW or my Black Douglas kilt.) More "formal look" = Charcoal Grey Crail jacket & vest, one of my more "somber" Black/Grey kilts, Charcoal or Black hose & Black flashes.

Puffer

[Bugbear]

To start with, I wear a kilt as my primary attire. So therefore I wear it as I would wear P^&*TED Attire. ( simply substitute the appropriate kilt for the P&^%Ts...

At this point, I would most likely not wear a kilt for any of these times. Perhaps I would if it were requested that I wear a kilt, which could happen, but the kilt is not "primary attire" for me. I have three good suits, and one of those would do just fine, without any worry or trouble, at any of those events.

On the other hand, I would not throw a fit if someone does show up in Highland attire.

[JSFMACLJR]

I have just been watching on TV the memorial service in Aberdeen of the 16 men killed in a tragic helicopter crash out in the North Sea a fortnight ago. The Duke and Duchess of Rothsay were amongst those attending the service. The Duke was wearing the kilt, dark grey "day jacket" and waistcoat, white shirt,black tie, brown sporran, black shoes(not ghillies) I could not see the colour of the hose clearly, lovat green I think, but one thing for certain they were not white. His attire is entirely appropriate for this solemn occasion.

Here is a pic of the Duke and Duchess of Rothesay at the memorial service:

[raibeart_dubh]

Andy,

Is the kilt part of your normal attire?

If so, wear what you think is appropriate. I would say for a wedding, dress at least one level, maybe two, down from the groom. Shirt and tie, maybe a vest, but I would leave the jacket at home.

At a funeral, I would say if its family, wear the family tartan, if its not family wear a very somber tartan. Black Watch, Highland Granite, etc. Basically, dark colors.

If the kilt is not part of you normal attire, well go out on that limb and do it. Show people how dignified Highland dress can be.

[Andy]

It's becoming part of my normal attire. I don't wear it at work too much because it's hard to break up fights wearing one and frankly, I'd rather break a drunk's nose than get a tear in one of my kilts.

But I have both the Black Watch and Nightstalker (similar to the Highland Granite) tartan that would work. I don't have a vest, tie or jacket yet, but those are in the works. I also need to get some black and green hose soon too.

If I'm lucky, I won't be attending anymore funerals for awhile. I'd rather not go than have another reason to wear a kilt. Kinda funny, but my wife asked me if I was gonna be buried in one. Might have to re-think the whole cremation thing unless I could find an urn in tartan colors

[NancyMan]

This past weekend I attended a memorial service for a friend of mine, Jack Velker- an extraordinary man, musician, composer, philosopher, raconteur, etc. (Years past, when I gave up wearing pants, I gave him some of my finest clothing to perform in, stuff that didn't go with kilts, like Italian suits and homburgs.) I thought I might wear all black for this affair, but decided it might be seen as attention grabbing or theatrical. Instead, I wore a black shadow tartan Stillwater heavyweight, black waistcoat, tie and flashes, black brogue shoes and glengarry, grey hose and shirt, plain black sporran and charcoal argyle jacket. No silver cantle or buttons. I wanted to look very dressy, yet very subdued. It was an all day affair, afternoon memorial service in a church, dinner at a restaurant and an evening at a pub where many of the musicians Jack had performed with provided a raucously tunefull wake. Jack was a local legend and hundreds of people attended. I knew perhaps thirty of them. Interestingly, throughout the day I found myself shaking the hands of a lot of people I didn't know who just had to pay their respects to the guy in the kilt. Certainly this would not have happened had I worn trousers. I dressed to express my personal grief and to show the greatest respect for the man and this occasion. Somehow my image became a beacon for a portion of the attendees needing comfort in their bereavement. Certainly a testament to the power of the kilt and a very good reason to wear it to a funeral.

[GlassMan]

Personally, I wear kilts and only kilts. I do not own pants and have nor worn pants (with the exception of my yearly Santa Claus outfit) at any time. It has been this way for years. So anyone who invites me to an occassion knows that I will come in a kilt. It would seem odd and inappropriate in their eyes for me to wear anything else.

[DireStraitsFan]

A funeral is one of the only places I would not feel comfortable wearing my kilt. I don't wear a kilt daily, and therefore my desire to exercise my right to wear whatever I want would take a back seat to my respect for those mourning the loss of the deceased. In other words, a funeral is not the place that I would choose to make my stand for kilted equality. I think this may not apply so much to people that wear them everyday. However, for me to do it, it would seem like I was trying to hijack the funeral for my own purposes.

For just about anything else, I say wear the darn thing and be prood!

[Carolina Kiltman]

. . .I don't think it ever makes someone less of man, to display courtesy and deference...

. . .It's okay to break social conventions, especially ones that are arbitrary, you're free to do it. Just exercise judgment when breaking a convention might hurt the feelings of someone you care about and respect.

. . . manners do matter and Makeitstop's nuanced post highlights why it would probably not be a good idea to have a hard and fast rule about kilt-appropriateness, particularly in the U.S. where the sight of a kilt is still regrettably rare for most folks.

I just wanted to add my tuppence here. One of my pet peeves is people who behave as if all social customs are "arbitrary and useless" and delight in being offensive in language, dress and general demeanour. It is this "proper behaviour" in the "market-place" that defines civilized society, and enables us to get along without too much violence. (There is far too much of that without trying to add more!)

[herminator]

I wear only kilts exept at work, where I wear white trousers - I´m a nurse!

So at funerals I wear my Ben Dubh kilt, a black shadow tartan. The funerals I go to are mostly people who lived in the greiatric home I work in (luckily!) and my dress code is known there!

I have not been to any wedding since I wear kilts, but I simply don´t have anything else I can dress up ...