The XMTS Limmericks Thread

**Panache** · 5th May 09, 06:25 PM

While I'm not one given to rants
I am tempted after this poem of Grant's
For pronouncing Panache "Panosh"
I think I'll get out a kosh
And give him a slap in the pants!

**ccga3359** · 5th May 09, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by Panache

While I'm not one given to rants
I am tempted after this poem of Grant's
For pronouncing Panache "Panosh"
I think I'll get out a kosh
And give him a slap in the pants!

I am royalty, it's pronouced Graunt as in "Aunt", sorry Eliza,

**The F-H.C.A.G.** · 5th May 09, 09:18 PM

So if Grant is pronounced as Graunt
(Which is fitting for someone so gaunt)
Then let's give him his due
For his virtues are few
He's always a good one to taunt!

Be well,

p.s.

Grant, it's 9:17 pm

**Aldisimo** · 5th May 09, 09:23 PM

I, for one, am enjoying all this cleverness. Thank you to all the creative ones for the free entertainment!

**Barry** · 6th May 09, 12:55 AM

Originally Posted by Aldisimo

I, for one, am enjoying all this cleverness. Thank you to all the creative ones for the free entertainment!

Aldismo: it's easy to see
That a poet you never will be
Your writings sublime
Alas do not rhyme
But I'll sort if for you for a fee!

**Cherub** · 6th May 09, 05:07 AM

Originally Posted by The F-H.C.A.G.

So if Grant is pronounced as Graunt
(Which is fitting for someone so gaunt)
Then let's give him his due
For his virtues are few
He's always a good one to taunt!

Be well,

Our Amazon Goddess has class
to taunt grant with such panache
now I laugh out loud
I know my rymings off, i'm not proud
though I gave it my best to not be crass.

(ugg thats bad)

**ForresterModern** · 6th May 09, 05:21 AM

Since I started the thread I guess I should participate. My old writing professor always said that "the limerick was the poet's sole outlet for vulgarity"' so here goes:

Dedicated to Riverkilt:

Kiltmakers sweat over tartan,
From their pleatin' and tuckin' and dartin',
Private parts free and breezier,
Certain necessities easier,
Like scr*win' and peein' and fartin'.

**Rex_Tremende** · 6th May 09, 05:11 PM

It helps to have excellent glasses
For the pipe band that far away passes.
It's what every kid knows:
In case the wind blows,
You might get a glimpse of their flashes!

**fluter** · 7th May 09, 09:47 AM

Originally Posted by ali8780

I'm not sure if it's iambic pentameter....

(Chuckle) That was for the other thread.

Limericks traditionally are in an anapestic meter. The anapest "unit" is (short short long) or (soft soft hard) if you prefer. The limerick's lines contain 3, 3, 2+2, and 3 of those.

dee dee DUM dee dee DUM dee dee DUM (trimeter :-)
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM dee dee DUM
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM (tetrameter)
dee dee DUM dee dee DUM dee dee DUM

Iambic pentameter means 5 iambs (dee DUM) as in:

Originally Posted by Auld Will;

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;

Iambic pentameter that doesn't rhyme, for instance most of Shakespeare's plays, is called blank verse. Rhymed couplets, available at extra cost, are a nice way to close out a speech.

Originally Posted by Elleck Pope;

True wit is nature to advantage dressed
What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed

**piperdbh** · 7th May 09, 10:55 AM

I know of a fellow named Sandy
Who with his keyboard is real handy.
He posts quite a lot
On X Marks the Scot,
And in a white tie, he looks dandy!

A fellow named Matt made my kilt.
My silk dandelion won't wilt.
I make my own hose
To go with my clothes
And try to dress "Scotch to the hilt".

Grandfather often is hot,
And so I think I'd rather not
Attend it this year,
But please have no fear,
Gatlinburg will hit the spot!