You Know You Are a True Scot If....

[Colonel MacNeal]

I guess this is the Scottish version of "you might be a redneck if...."

More please, if they are out there.

Well, if you consider that the original Rednecks were Scottish Covenanters, you might be on to something there.

Crackers too, have their origins in Scotland and Ireland.

[EagleJCS]

Are you Scottish? I am............ You know you are a true Scot if.............

Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.
Ye kin faw aboot pished withoot spilling yer drink.
Ye measure distance in minutes.
Ye kin mak hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.
Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.
You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

These could also be used to describe native Kentuckians (but with basketball instead o' fitba!). Lotsa long-time Scottish roots in southern/eastern Kentucky. There are many similar sayings/adages (adapted to/by the circumstances they found themselves in).

[ghostlight]

'It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

[Phil]

Has anyone here got a "faun doon soot"? Essential wear for a night "oot on ra toon in Glesga". Should you have the misfortune to drink to excess then a suitable suit for crawling through the gutters is essential rather than making a mess of your good clothes. Someone in that state might be described as "awfy no weel". He would no doubt be "blootered" or"puggled", possibly "bogging" depending on when he last had a bath and could well be seen "boakin" as he disgorged his excessive alcohol intake.. Should the "polis" arrive he would undoubtedly "breenge" in the opposite direction to evade a good "hiding". He might run into a "jorrie" but would probably call his upper-class talk a load of "keech" and head for the night club where he last saw his "lumber" for the night. She, having been deserted may possibly reward him with a "severe malky" for his trouble and he might respond by "melting" her one. Such is the mating ritual of the Glaswegian.

[David Dalglish]

Brilliant Alex.