a question for the dads

[Aldisimo]

This is the first Fathers' Day since my brother's only son died. My nephew was young [29] and passed away of a heart attack. His girlfriend came home to discover his body slumped in the shower.

I know it's not a happy Fathers' Day for my brother, but I don't know whether I should call him and acknowledge the day at all. I don't want to make him more sad than I know he already is.

ETA: He was not just my brother's only son; he was my brother's only child.

[puddlemuddle]

This is a tough one. The way that I would think of it is he is still a father...regardless of what happened. MAybe call him up and see if you can take him out for lunch or something...if he is near you. If not, then just tell him that you were thinking of him, and that you wanted to make sure he was doing ok. Never be afraid to let someone know that you care about them.
Hope this helps.
Chad
(father of a two year old)

[Bob C]

I don't know about your relationship with your brother, but a call to see how he's doing might open up the door for him to talk about what he's feeling without forcing the issue.

[Riverkilt]

Hellyes!

He needs you now more than ever. Be supportive. Holidays like this are as bad as the anniversary of his son's death will be. Handle it the same way. Don't pretend its no big deal. It is.

He's already sad. A call from you won't make it any worse. It may make it better.

Dial!

Ron

[butch]

Most people especially men want to try and ignore what has happened or don.t know what to say out of fear they might say the wrong thing. But it is importasnt to make that call if only to say hi. Most men are afraid to do this but, but I am sure your brother would greatly appreciate call. As many others would if they were in the same situation. Wouldn't you like to receive a call from your brother if the situation was reversed? We would all need the support of our families and friends even though we act like we don't we desire that contact and copmfort of people we know

[BEEDEE]

Call him!

Brian

[JolyStNicholas]

All excellent advice above, what more can I say except CALL HIM and tell him you LOVE him!

[McMurdo]

Sad to hear that even if it was a while ago that kind of hurt can not go away easily. I'd have to agree with both Bob and Ron, give him a call it may be exactly what he needs right now.

[Phogfan86]

"He's already sad. A call from you won't make it any worse. It may make it better."

Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't hesitate to talk about the elephant in the living room. He knows his son has crossed over. You wouldn't be bringing in new information.

[MacMillan of Rathdown]

This is probably more about how awkward you might feel than how your brother will feel. Call him.