An Apology

[JSFMACLJR]

Dear friends,

I gather I have become a bit of a lightening rod when it comes to controversy in this Forum, and my opinions have distressed a great number of you. To that end, I have taken the trouble to delete a number of my post (mostly those dealing with the forbidden topic of white hose), where my opinions have been expressed perhaps too stridently.

I am sorry if I have given offence to any of you, and diminished your enjoyment of this Forum.

As I am also known as somewhat of a notorious snob, I have also gone to the trouble of deleting photos that may cause some to think they were posted to make others feel inferior, or misguided. That was never my intention. If my photographs alienated you in any way, I truly am sorry.

I look forward to following future posts, but you may rest assured that I will try my hardest not to upset the apple cart.

Best regards,
Sandford

[Jock Scot]

Personally I have enjoyed your educational posts and frankly, some of the "cut and thrust" that has resulted from them.Your decision to step back a wee tad is, as far as I am concerned, entirely up to you and I respect your decision.

[dfmacliam]

Sanford, in my humble opinion, I would not change who
you are, if my opinion with you differs, it challenges me to rethink my position, and research my ideas... If I am wrong, I have learned something. We will all differ in opinions, that is why we learn from each other... We grow each encounter....as a whole.

[KFCarter]

I've enjoyed your posts and photos. You can have a strong opinion now and then, but who among us haven't "crossed a line" at times. While I'm not sure I agree any apology is warranted, I do appreciate the care and consideration it represents. It's the choice of a gentleman, done with class.

[DWFII]

Sanford,

I am sorry to hear this. It makes me terribly frustrated and uncomfortable...not because of anything you said or have done but because it shines a bright light on why people become uncomfortable or offended.

In the recent white hose thread, for instance, one member made a statement that (as I read it) ascribed snobbishness to all those who think white hose look a little "off." In a fair discussion, that remark might have been called and a whole other, perhaps happy, chain of events might have ensued. But in this instance (and many others similarly charged) it was not.

Later in the same thread, if memory serves, another member resorted to the "kilt police" remark.

Such blanket characterizations are, despite the best semantic camouflage in the world, offensive. And I know I am not alone in thinking that they seem deliberately so. Yet the powers that be do not see fit to intervene to curtail such remarks...indeed there always seems to be a sense of exasperation and bewilderment when a thread goes downhill from there--as if, despite an abundance of patience and tolerance, those people who respond to such untoward remarks are being deliberately spiteful.

The key issue is the perception of fairness. Whatever the reality, anyone will rise to his or her own defense if they believe that no one else will. If intimations of snobbery or fascism are tolerated (with a wink and a smile) but strong opinions that have no personal focus...only differing from the "consensus"...are given short shrift, then the appearance of unfairness is nearly a given.

I believe that despite the best intentions, the tone of this forum is more intolerant than it is made out to be. I believe that certain people and certain subjects and even certain otherwise rude remarks and behaviour are tolerated at the expense of other people and other points of view. And I think it's a shame.

I think anyone ought to be able to express a personal opinion--"I think white hose look like underwear." And as long as it is stated and expressed as a personal opinion I cannot see how it could offend anyone unless we stipulate that only certain personal opinions are acceptable.

On the other hand if someone feels they have the right to tell someone else what they should or should not do then a line is crossed. But that includes the assertion that certain personal opinions ought to be kept off XMarks...or that the holding and/or expression of those personal opinions makes a person (or a group of people) snobbish or kilt police, or in some wise socially anathema. Somewhere along the line we have all fallen into the rankest kind of hypocrisy if we accept that.

I personally, value...and for the most part agree...with everything you have ever posted. I regret that you feel alienated and singled out. Know that you have friends and admirers here (at least for the nonce) who wish you had not deleted your posts or photos.

[Chas]

Sanford,

I don't know if we have ever communicated before, but I would like to take this opportunity to publicly say that I support you.

Regards

Chas

[Big Mikey]

DISCLAIMER- The following is just one, fat, old mans opinion.

It has been an observation of mine that quite often a man will judge himself more harshly than those around him will. If he feels that he MAY have wronged another and makes an attempt to redeem himself, his quality as a gentleman is greatly elevated.

[Phil]

My dear Sanford

I have to say that I always enjoy the cut and thrust of any discussions we enter into and I do hope you will not abandon these. Perhaps describing someone's taste in hose as "crap" was a tad OTT but I am sure we can all live with that. Look at how Jock treats his "flat cap" image with humour and knows it is all in good part.
Please do not abandon your contributions here as where would we be without them? I, of all people, should know the pitfalls which seem to arise when a discussion of white hose or types of footwear is involved. I do not know why such heated arguments should be triggered by such seemingly anodyne subjects but that seems to be what happens.

Phil

[Bugbear]

JSFMACLJR, we have had many discussions about Highland Attire that have been very useful to me. Thank you for those disscussions.

[BoldHighlander]

DISCLAIMER- The following is just one, fat, old mans opinion.

It has been an observation of mine that quite often a man will judge himself more harshly than those around him will. If he feels that he MAY have wronged another and makes an attempt to redeem himself, his quality as a gentleman is greatly elevated.

Hear, hear
Well said Big Mikey.