Are you authentic?

[Highlander31]

This happened a few weeks back, and this is the first chance I have had to post.

I was walking along the cliff trail enjoying the ocean, as I do most every morning. I rounded a corner and almost ran into a couple headed the other direction. The woman stated “You look very authentic…Are you authentic?” I answered, I was as authentic as an American of Irish, and Scottish descent could be. The look on her face said my answer did not satisfy her completely. Before I could ask her to elaborate, her husband stated they were out visiting from Virginia, and asked about the area. Our conversation became the usual conversation that locals and visitors have about a small coastal town.

When I returned home, I mentioned the woman’s question to my wife, who immediately burst out in laughter. Then with the biggest Cheshire cat grin that I have seen on my wife’s face in quite a while, she said, “She wanted to know if you were regimental.” The look on the woman's face suddenly made sense.

My wife then asked if the woman had straightened my pleats. I laughed and answered no. She asked this because, it has been my experience when women pose with me for photos, they will run their hand down the back of my kilt (usually with a heavier hand pressure across the seat area.) The usual explanation (when one is offered) is my pleats needed to be straightened. My wife finds it amusing (after over thirty years and seven children, she knows I’m not going anywhere.) As for me, I consider it a compliment that the women think my pleats are worth straightening.

[Catdad]

Are you authentic? That reminds me of the time a woman asked my wife if I was natural. I didn't understand right away, but my wife did. She explained I wouldn't be re-enacting one particular scene from Braveheart anytime soon.

[Spartan]

Are you authentic? That reminds me of the time a woman asked my wife if I was natural. I didn't understand right away, but my wife did. She explained I wouldn't be re-enacting one particular scene from Braveheart anytime soon.

Too bad for you!

[lethearen]

If I didn't know better, I'd have thought I posted this ;) I had that exact question of authenticity posed to me when I was in Louisville a while back. I was a bar with some co-workers, past and present. One of my former supervisors was there, and his wife sauntered up and asked if I were authentic. I checked to make sure my pleats were to the rear, and said yup, all's right. She asked again, so I said well, I'm authentically Scots-Irish... So she she explained by saying she meant commando. I smiled and said we call it "regimental", after which her husband changed the conversation.

That was the same night one of my current co-workers effectively said he'd never seen a kilt before, because he couldn't think of anything to call it but a skirt. He got a kick out of watching me sweep the pleats before sitting down and it was "just like a lady"... I took that as a compliment that I was at least doing it right ;)

[McClef]

That word reminds me of the labels on certain kilts!

[CDNSushi]

Well, fwiw, I wouldn't have had a clue either what being "authentic" meant... What a strange way to ask "the question"...

[Smayniac]

I too was recently asked if I were "authentic" at the wedding I attended in kilted island casual on Wednesday. I told the young lady in question, who expressed regret that she'd left her shoe mirror at home, that she was a naughty girl.
Bob

[ChubRock]

At first I thought "straighten your pleats" meant something else. <removing mind from the gutter>

[Brother Falldown]

Trying very hard to remember if I've asked a woman such a question... Certain that if I have it was pre-Woodstock!

[St. Amish]

it has been my experience when women pose with me for photos, they will run their hand down the back of my kilt (usually with a heavier hand pressure across the seat area.) The usual explanation (when one is offered) is my pleats needed to be straightened.

Best excuse for a gratuitously copped feel ever.

These types of explanations never seem to work in the other direction, though, do they?