Other Peoples Expectations

**Riverkilt** · 14th September 09, 07:15 AM

So when I "discovered" kilts five years ago I dove in deep. I'm kilted a LOT around town, but I'm also usually kilted when I travel out-of-town for various events.

For the past few years I've attended the Freedom in Sobriety Hopi AA campout down at Five Houses on the Hopi reservation - kilted of course.

This year the week before was intense, I didn't get an opportunity to pack up early, and when it came time to throw some things together for the weekend I decided to leave the kilts at home and just wear jeans and boots. The venue for the campout is VERY VERY dirty and dusty - think outdoor rodeo arena. I didn't really wanna have to wash the kilts when I got home. The lady friend I stayed with has three cats and I would have had to brush out the kilts too.

And, was kinda feeling like I just wanted to blend in - not stand out from the rest of the folks. And kilted modesty is an issue in those folding camping chairs that set your butt low.

So when I arrive there's a long line of people coming up to me asking, "Where's your kilt?" "Why aren't you wearing a kilt?" "You look so good in a kilt, I wish you'd worn one." "No kilt?" Just a never ending stream of similar questions all weekend.

My fault for setting myself up as the kilted guy? Their expectations that things will never change?

Once we decide to kilt up and sally forth in public do we own the role of "the kilted guy" forever? We know we have choice...do others?

Ron

**dfmacliam** · 14th September 09, 07:28 AM

But Ron, you are the token kilted guy on the Rez... LOL
Pride in ones culture is something Native Americans truely understand... Even if it's something they are not familiar with. At the same time, I am sure you had many non Natives asking you too, and knowing the type of people, who would be there, it's understandable, too. They are your more free spirit type personalities.... Hmmmm much like your own.
Did you set yourself up? No, you are who you are... and to be accepted as that, wholeheartedly is more of a compliment than anything else. I
am proud to include you as a friend, and tell my daughter about you... So if you show up to Window Rock one day, and a Navajo girl talks to you like you are someone she knows.. it just might be my daughter..lol

congrats on your continued sobriety, and may your journey continue to be a positive one..

**Kid Cossack** · 14th September 09, 07:36 AM

Whenever someone notices that I'm not kilted, I tend to reply, "Every once in a while I like to put on pants and pass for normal."

**dfmacliam** · 14th September 09, 07:46 AM

Remember, normalcy is so overrated!

**Riverkilt** · 14th September 09, 07:46 AM

Interestingly, none of the Hopi or Navajo folks commented. Even my Apache friend who I was kilted around all week at the Tucson conference two weeks ago didn't say a thing.

Was only the Bahanas (Anglos) that commented. May be that "we all look alike" since I often get "Hi Mike" when I'm on the Hopi rez because Mike, a high school teacher on the Hopi is often kilted - and that without my kilt I just look like another Bahana.

But since my Apache friend also didn't comment - and I've known her for 20 years and she'd feel free to remark if she wanted to - I'm guessing its also just respect or live and let live. Native peoples are for sure much less likely to worry about what a Bahana/Bilagaana is wearing. I've also never had derogatory comments from Native people when kilted.

Been a while since I've been to Window Rock but will keep a heads up next time.

Ron

**Highlander31** · 14th September 09, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by peacekeeper83

Remember, normalcy is so overrated!

Amen brother...

**Catdad** · 14th September 09, 07:57 AM

Interesting discussion topic. Perhaps I'm starting to plant some expectation seeds too. Two of the checkout people and two of the teenage baggers at my local Safeway are now expecting to see me kilted whenever I shop there.

And another amen from me regarding the overrating of normalcy.

**Spc. Scott** · 14th September 09, 08:06 AM

Every third month I work on a fish fry crew at my Legion post and I always wear pants for that as I wash dishes. I get the same run of comments as soon as I run into anyone right after the dinner is over. Kinda funny.

**GMan** · 14th September 09, 08:59 AM

I was asked one time if I ever wear anything besides Kilts. The question was directed toward blending in. I do think about it.

**BoldHighlander** · 14th September 09, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Riverkilt

Was only the Bahanas (Anglos) that commented. May be that "we all look alike" since I often get "Hi Mike" when I'm on the Hopi rez because Mike, a high school teacher on the Hopi is often kilted - and that without my kilt I just look like another Bahana.

Interesting thoughts Ron, and there might be something to it
In my own case I don't wear a kilt everyday, and have yet to wear one to my church, but I am a hat fiend, I love wearing hats, and if I don't wear one I get comments -- its become expected that I'll wear one.
As matter of fact, after church one day I went to say hi to a friend of mine (African American) who is an associate pastor. I was hatless & after he looked at me blankly he blinked & said "I almost didn't recognize you without the hat!"