Advice regarding rude people?

[Pleater]

Perhaps you are coming over as very 'mild mannered Clark Kent' in a dithering way that is possibly embarrassing to the Japanese psyche?

I 'hear' the way Japanese speak as rather forceful and blunt, which makes sense of all the body language and respectful words and phrases.

When about to speak men appear to move into the correct attitude, and then speak sharply and to the point.

This is just from watching various things on TV, notably a series of programs about a visit to Japan to organise some business - intended to assist those intending to do the same, where the protocols, office organisation and possible pitfalls were explained. The interviews were obviously 'stage managed' - it was all that was going on in the background that made the programs interesting.

I can only advise that you try short sharp respectful answers, maybe when sitting stiffly almost upright with slightly lowered gaze - watch how others react and then don't overdo it.

Isn't overly done politeness the same as being rude? They certainly used that in the office visit programs, laid it on with a spade, a sort of whole body sneer.

Anne the Pleater :ootd:

[Coinneach]

Try being prepared with two automatic responses (in Japanese, of course): "No" and "I know where he is."

The first is for when you don't know where your colleague is.

The second is a power play, to be sure, but if they haven't closed the door and walked away, they ask for more information and at least seem willing to listen. If they close the door and walk away, they have to reopen it again when they have realized what you've said. The last bit may train them to listen first. If they walk away and don't come back you haven't wasted any time.