"Luckily I've never had an experience like yours. That's some kilt check"

I think, Mr. Standard, that being accosted such as that might be considered: Kilt "Cheek"!

On the other hand... depending on the comeliness of the lady in question...

Jim aka kiltiemon

(Frauline Anthea (a "camp follower" of the Regiment Von Bose) often greets me at a reenactment with a cursory "kilt check"... I respond by grabbing her lustily in an embrace, clasping one check and stating boldly "Woof Woof!!! I LIKE it Firm and Fruity!!!. Neither my ex wife or ex fiance find it amusing, however!!!)

One of the more humourous "Kilt Check" routines (no, not what's under it), was with our Lt. who, grumpy because we were wearing our plaidies battle style (high), made us kneel in formation and went along with his blackthorn stick making sure our "hems" just touched the ground! As you can see, humour is abundant when the public is not around!!!