Proper attire for a funeral

[Jock Scot]

Chris made an interesting point regarding how the kilt is worn in Scotland; one well worthy of consideration.

I was raised to "wear your best" to a funeral as a show of respect. (Its sad how may don't even make an attempt these days.) Based on Ron and McMurdo's experiences, I wonder if perhaps that's how the kilt is perceived here in North America. I think for most of us it is our best. I own a custom tailored kilt, not a custom tailored suit. I would certainly view the kilt that way, but as a kilt wearer my opinion is biased, and not necessarily that of the general public.

I am not quite sure what point you are alluding too, so forgive me if I have the wrong end of the stick here.

I think you are meaning that Chris is pointing out that the kilt is not often worn to funerals in Scotland, he is quite correct. It is perhaps more common(still not that common) in the Highlands, the home of the kilt, which is also an area where the least number of people live. The lowland Scots, the largest majority, are not and never have been kilt wearers by tradition.Wearing the kilt to a funeral in Scotland is therefore not common.

[mrtackytn]

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[Jack Daw]

Chris made an interesting point regarding how the kilt is worn in Scotland; one well worthy of consideration.

I was raised to "wear your best" to a funeral as a show of respect. (Its sad how may don't even make an attempt these days.) Based on Ron and McMurdo's experiences, I wonder if perhaps that's how the kilt is perceived here in North America. I think for most of us it is our best. I own a custom tailored kilt, not a custom tailored suit. I would certainly view the kilt that way, but as a kilt wearer my opinion is biased, and not necessarily that of the general public.

The only time I have worn the kilt to a funeral, other than piping, was when I knew the departed and family had an appreciation for it.

[Stravaiger]

I am not quite sure what point you are alluding too, so forgive me if I have the wrong end of the stick here.

I think you are meaning that Chris is pointing out that the kilt is not often worn to funerals in Scotland, he is quite correct. It is perhaps more common(still not that common) in the Highlands, the home of the kilt, which is also an area where the least number of people live. The lowland Scots, the largest majority, are not and never have been kilt wearers by tradition.Wearing the kilt to a funeral in Scotland is therefore not common.

I agree with both Chris and Jock, that the wearing of a kilt to a funeral in Scotland is not common. It is however, what I normally wear to a family funeral, and I have never had any comments either positive or negative - it has simply been accepted that that is what I wear. Personally I choose a white shirt & black tie and try to be understated and not to stand out too much. For a funeral where I am simply one of the congregation & not particularly known by the family I have worn a suit in order to avoid the risk of offending.

[Gingerpose]

My best friend is about to loose her father due to cancer. So when i say i am planning to go to a funeral soon, its not light hearted. As most of my dress clothes have given way to kilt wearing, I have an outfit in mind for the day but i wanted to make sure its appropriate

Please excuse the grin, its was a good day when i snapped the shot
As we will be outside i most likely will add a Balmoral

I wonder if it would be possible to find out the gentleman's own wishes, if it is not too late? If I read your post correctly he has not yet passed away and may yet be able to communicate, depending on his condition.

[Tobus]

I wonder if it would be possible to find out the gentleman's own wishes, if it is not too late? If I read your post correctly he has not yet passed away and may yet be able to communicate, depending on his condition.

That would have to be a very uncomfortable conversation, and I can't think of any delicate way to ask.

"Hey man, can I wear a kilt to your funeral?" doesn't seem to have any gentle alternative.

[Jaggy thistle]

A funeral is the only time that I would never wear a kilt I always think a kilt is for happy ocasions I keep a black suit for funerals

[Chas]

There are two types of people who go to funerals.

The supporters - 'the shoulder to cry on' and the mourners, those who are grieving.

If you are a supporter, wear something unobtrusive and stay in the background.

If you are going as a mourner, why should it be assumed that your grief is any less than anybody else's.

Remember that funerals are not for the dead; they are for those that are left behind. They are part of the grieving process.

Go with your heart.

Regards

Chas

[Peregrine]

I am not quite sure what point you are alluding too, so forgive me if I have the wrong end of the stick here. I think you are meaning that Chris is pointing out that the kilt is not often worn to funerals in Scotland, he is quite correct. It is perhaps more common(still not that common) in the Highlands, the home of the kilt, which is also an area where the least number of people live. The lowland Scots, the largest majority, are not and never have been kilt wearers by tradition.Wearing the kilt to a funeral in Scotland is therefore not common.

The only time I have worn the kilt to a funeral, other than piping, was when I knew the departed and family had an appreciation for it.

I agree with both Chris and Jock, that the wearing of a kilt to a funeral in Scotland is not common. It is however, what I normally wear to a family funeral, and I have never had any comments either positive or negative - it has simply been accepted that that is what I wear. Personally I choose a white shirt & black tie and try to be understated and not to stand out too much. For a funeral where I am simply one of the congregation & not particularly known by the family I have worn a suit in order to avoid the risk of offending.

It seems I’ve inadvertently given the wrong impression; my apologies. I found Chris’s insight on the wearing of the kilt at funerals in Scotland informative and worthy of consideration when choosing my own funeral attire. As always I appreciate the advice of the native Scots.

What I was really pondering was how the kilt is perceived by the average non-kilt wearer here in North America. In Scotland you have a more defined etiquette for such things; here we have no such luxury. As a kilt wearer I would be honored to have the kilt worn at my own funeral or that of a family member. But as a kilt wearer I can only guess at how it would be viewed by those unfamiliar with the kilt.

Based on Ron and McMurdo’s experience, which is admittedly a limited sample size, it seems to be perceived as a show of respect, as I’m sure they intended. In most cultures we attempt to show respect by looking our best. I was theorizing that perhaps that is how the families in question viewed the kilt; a show of respect by way of taking the trouble to look ones best.

[Kilted Rogue]

I wonder if it would be possible to find out the gentleman's own wishes, if it is not too late? If I read your post correctly he has not yet passed away and may yet be able to communicate, depending on his condition.

He has lost the ablilty to speak, so I wont even try to have that conversation.